Starting to Exhale

I finally feel like things are starting to come back down to 'normal'.  I have lots of things on my "to-do" list but none are pressingly urgent.  I feel like I can take a bit of a step back and enjoy everything.

 

Some random pictures ...

 

 

 

 

The new digs.  Note the tree branch stuck up in the soffit just to the right of the satellite dish.  The house movers backed it into a big-ass tree while removing from the other place (grrr!)  Not good for the house or the tree! There were a few annoyances and tense moments during the move but in the end it got moved and as time goes by, I'm more and more happy with the decision.  Skirting is pretty high up on the aforementioned "to-do" list.

Lilly and Diesel having a lazy Saturday afternoon nap on the small couch.

A crazy thunderstorm went through here last week and produced the most perfect and complete rainbow I have seen in a very long time (if ever)!  It was amazing.  One of those moments when I wished I had a real camera but I doubt even that would have captured it.  A sign from the powers that be that everything is going to be alright.

This guy snoozing, snoring and snorting in his sleep.  Was very cute.

My big guys enjoying their supper.  The pasture has not had any grass to speak of since spring so twice a day they get a bit of a supplement and they clean up every last morsel ... which is a good thing because there is not an abundance of hay this year, no room for waste!

Kitty all snuggled into the bedding on laundry day.

March Madness continues ... into Mid-July

Since my last post in March I have been SUPER busy and was (basically) without my computer for a while, which makes blogging a bit inconvenient.

Here are a few of the highlights of what's been happening in the last few months: in a nut shell, March Madness has lasted four and a half months ;-)

Started my new job in Feb and coming up on my 6-month review.  Its challenging but things are coming along.  I have gotten good feed back, I think they will keep me around which is a big relief.

Sold my house in town.  That process is always a little stressful but in the end I was more or less satisfied with where things ended up.

Moved into a dumpy old fifth-wheel trailer at the acreage which was smelly, leaky and once I moved in I decided I didn't trust the electrical system to NOT light itself on fire.  But it fit my budget and as a temporary home, it was tolerable ... barely.

Had my 'new' double wide trailer moved onto my little piece of paradise.  Other than a week's delay and then the actual move taking 2 days longer than expected, that went fairly smoothly.

Indoor plumbing ... argh!  I've been without running water since I moved into the fifth-wheel in mid-May, which I expected and planned for when I decided to go that route, and for the 2.5 weeks since the house was moved.  Getting the water supply system to work has been a real lesson in problem solving and patience!  It started with about 1000 gallons of wasted water (due to my own dumbness) and required a back-hoe ($$$), numerous visits by the plumbers ($$$), a new underground line to the house ($$$) and a zillion hours of futzing around ($#*^!) BUT ... its finally working!  I have now tested every water using appliance and fixture in the house, everything is as it should be ... insha'allah.  The invoices will be rolling in this week. and I shudder to think what all this has cost but it is what it is now.  I'll just pay it off and carry on with life.

I had a number of tests done on my enlarged thyroid and it was found to be benign and it does not seem that I will need any treatment for it for now.  Which was fantastic news.  I will be monitored closely to make sure that doesn't change and in the mean time, I am really trying to change to a "thyroid friendly" diet to encourage it to not grow any more nodules.

I took Cash to a bomb-proofing clinic.  Truth be known I never would have done that if I hadn't been relentlessly "encouraged" into doing it. I was not feeling very brave since I have not ridden since last year where I managed to humiliate myself in front of all the Search and Rescue equine team.  I finally rationalized that if I am going to get back on and if there's going to be a disaster, might as well do it where there is professional help solve any issues and people around to call 9-1-1 if it comes to that.  But much to my surprise, Cash was amazing!  He loaded into the trailer straight away on Saturday morning and that set the tone for the rest of the weekend.  He barely batted an eye at the obstacles, he walked over under around through anything I pointed at him, he responded to my queues perfectly and I'm quite sure my queues were less than perfect.  The clinic was a huge success for us and a huge leap forward in my mental block to getting on and riding him.  There is hope for Cash and I :-)

That's it for now.  Photos to follow and more regular posts now that life is starting to settle back into a less busy routine.  Its Monday and I need to get to work ...

So far so good: MPC Approval and other things

Acreage living:
I went before the Municipal Planning Commission this morning in support of my Development Permit for moving the 'new' mobile home onto the acreage.  This was necessary because the spot I want to locate the 'new' trailer is right beside a big-ass coulee and the County is reluctant to approve that.  Fortunately, the Development Officer was quite cooperative and recommended that the MPC approve it and they did that this morning.  There is still a 2-week waiting/advertising period in which anyone who opposes my application can appeal it ... but I honestly can't imagine who would do that.  I am surrounded by pasture and farmland so its not like the neighbourhood will be ruined!

Spring Cleaning:
I am diligently cleaning, sorting, organizing, packing and purging everything I own in an effort to get my house in order.  I want to list it for sale soon but there's a lot of work to be done first to make it as saleable as possible.  And for that, it has to look bigger than it is.  Which means no clutter.  The bedrooms are pretty much done but the clutter has seemingly migrated into other rooms which now need the same treatement. It also needs to be spotless and with 2 dogs and a cat that have all been shedding their winter coats for several weeks already, its kind of an uphill battle. Oy!

I owe I owe. Its off to work I go:
The new job is going well but I'm still riding the learning curve.  Lots of questions, sometimes I feel pretty smart, other times I feel pretty dumb.  But I foresee that with a bit more experience and mentoring, I will be fine.  I feel pretty lucky.

Volleyball:
Rant warning: Our season ended with a less than stellar performance in the year end tournament and a loss in Tier 4 finals.  Not unexpected since this team doesn't seem to believe in warming up before a game (or even touching the ball for that matter) and plays a system that's about as sophisticated as a bunch of Fifth graders with ball-control skills that are about the same level.  I wouldn't be so bitter except that I have tried to educate the team on several occasions on a better way (which is based on my experience being coached by national team players, having played co-ed ball on a team of ex-college championship men and assistant coaching at the club level, not to mention just playing A LOT of v-ball back in the day) however no one was really interested and the team "leader" dismissed my suggestions quite unceremoniously by implying that I don't play my position well.  Kind of offended.  So when we were up against a Tier 1 team and we had a huddle to "strategize" I couldn't help but roll my eyes.  Whatever. We're not going to beat a Tier 1 team.  We're just not.  All the strategizing in the world ain't gonna save our butts in that match!  To summarize, it was not a fun season.  Glad its over and next year I hope to find a different (better) team to play with.

End of rant.

March Madness

Well its only the first of the month but I can already see that March is shaping up to be a crazy busy month.  But its a good crazy!  I'm feeling MUCH more optimistic about everything struggle-bus related :-D  Life is moving forward again.  I will be off that bus very soon ... Insha'Allah!

I am an SCO
The biggest leap forward was landing and starting a new job in mid February as a Safety Codes Officer.  The job search was really crushing my soul (and my savings!) but I put it out to the Universe exactly what I wanted, a check list of criteria and this job checks off almost all the boxes.  I've had 2 weeks of really excellent training and I got good feedback from my colleague/trainer and my new boss.  And last Friday was payday (yipee!)  Starting on Monday they are sending me out into the world (or at least the south-east corner of the province) with a truck, a cell phone and a list of inspections ... but in reality, I was already doing my own inspections last week so it won't be a big jump to this next level and having seen how the job really works, I am feeling much more confident in my own knowledge and skills.  I will be fine on my own and I think I will really like it.

Funny story (in a peculiar kind of way): My colleague/trainer and I were toodling down a secondary highway south of Lethbridge when we noticed a mobile home on a farm that appeared to be on fire (the big black billow of smoke coming from the roof was a clue.)  We decided we better check to make sure everyone was OK so we pulled off the highway to investigate.  While my colleague went to check on the people, I called 9-1-1.

911: What's your emergency?
Me: I'm calling about a house on fire!
911: Where are you located?
Me: We are 1km south of Standoff and about half a km off the highway.
911: (pause) That's not a fire.
Me: (standing 40 feet from the mobile home with massive flames shooting out all the doors and windows and thick black smoke billowing from the roof) Umm, no, clearly its A FIRE!!!!!

The dispatcher insisted several more times that it was "not a fire" and when my colleague returned from speaking with the fire chief (who was on site), he explained that the "storage shed" was intentionally lit to get rid of it.  So it was not an emergency ... but it was definitely a fire!

And for those few minutes that I thought someone's home and entire life were burning to the ground, possibly including the people themselves, it was a horrible sight!

Home Sweet Acreage Home
I will be moving to my acreage this summer.  I found a solid, reasonably priced, used double-wide trailer on Kijiji, I put a deposit on it and booked the moving company.  There are still a lot of little details to work out such as approval from the County on the location, logistics of getting the trailer onto my place, utility hook-ups, etc ... no doubt there will be other hiccups along the way (there always are!)  And paying for everything will be a stretch; what started out as an affordable solution to some of my problems quickly moved into "not as affordable" territory once all the bits and bobs and real prices were factored in.  But in spite of all the challenges, it is still the right thing for me long term both financially and personally. 

Good-bye Old Home
And as part of the "paying for everything" quandary noted above, I am putting my house in town on the market.  I had the realtor come by and give me a rough idea of what it's worth right now and I was a teensy bit disappointed.  But it is what it is and its better to make budgets and decisions based on realistic numbers rather than wishful thinking.  So the cleaning, purging, moving, sprucing up has been cranked into high gear.  As well, this realtor provides the services of a "staging consultant" as part of her fee (finally a realtor who offers VALUE for her fee!) so I will definitely take advantage of that!  This is a small house that might only appeal to a small-ish segment of the market but it has 'cute' going for it so a staging expert can only help to maximize that.

Farrier's Report
The farrier came out yesterday and I came to realize that my guys are not so behaved these days and pretty buddy sour.  Cruz was a little bit kicky with the farrier and was quite distressed when it came to be Cash's turn and Cash was out of his sight.  That in turn made Cash antsy dancey whereas he's usually very polite when getting his feet done.  It didn't help that a mini-blizzard was blowing through when we were working on them.  And what I thought was Cruz's quirky, playful personality coming out is more likely a bratty, pushy attitude due to lack of having a job to do.  Unfortunately I haven't had very much time for them and the weather has either been too cold to be out there for long or too warm and muddy to work with them.  And unfortunately my lack of time is not likely to get any better for the next little while.  But I need to devote at least a little bit of time and energy to them and once I get settled out there, I will focus on them much more consistently.  The good news to come out of that appointment is that the farrier is really happy with how Cruz's back feet have improved.  There is still some work to do on his front hoof cracks and again, that is my fault for not paying more attention to him.

Its Not Over Until Its Over
My ladies volleyball league is now into playoffs, single knock-out format and last week we won.  Unfortunately.  Which means I will be subjected to at least one more week of  torturous "hack ball".  I know, first world problems.

When I grow up I wanna be a blues guitar legend

I never get tired of watching this clip!  This woman is bloody amazing on the guitar, a real talent! Makes me want to pick it up and play a few chords ... both of them that I know haha  I love how she waves at someone off camera at 2:00 and just keeps on rockin'!  You go girl!

Her name is Joanna Connor ... http://www.joannaconnorband.com/

Photo Flashback: My Girl Minka

The first dog I had as an adult was a boxer I adopted from Boxer Rescue Canada.  Her name was Minka.  She and I definitely had our moments, mostly good but a few that were not so good.  When I moved overseas I decided to rehome her rather than bring her along and a very nice couple (guardian angels!) who had recently lost their boxer took her in.  She was in good hands!  From time to time they sent me pictures and updates, she was definitely living the dream!

 

In 2010 as I was packing up to move back to Canada, they sent me a sad email letting me know that they had made the hard decision to put her to sleep.  When she still lived with me she developed tumours in her throat that were inoperable but not causing her any problems.  However they eventually did progress to the point where they were affecting her quality of life.  She was 13 years old.

 

These pictures are from 2003(?) when my (now ex-)boyfriend and I took her for a run/rollerblade around Glenmore park.  It was a very long day for her, the poor thing just laid down in the grass about 50 meters from the truck would not go any further.  I carried her the rest of the way.

 

 

A couple of new photos of Cash and Cruz

The Boys.

Cruz: We should really find a new place to poo.
Cash: Yeah.  I think I see a spot over there!

Cruz: Seriously?  Zebra print? This is not Africa!  I look ridiculous.

Me:  Sorry but that`s what was on sale.  Deal with it.

Cash: Does this blanket make me look fat?
Me: Yes. That`s because you ARE fat!

The Struggle Bus Update: What a difference a day can make!

A huge weight has been lifted, I finally got a job!  Yay!  I had an interview yesterday which didn`t seem particularly promising at the start but towards the end of the meeting, the big boss said the job is mine if I want it.  That caught me off guard and a little unprepared!

I`ve held my certificate as a Building Safety Codes Officer for a several years but wasn`t very successful at it.  I am just not `salesy` enough to find new clients and build that as a business.  This new job eliminates that, I can focus on what I do best.  Life can now move forward on a whole bunch of ways that were stalled because of my floundering career. The job doesn`t pay quite as much as I`d hoped and I still have to prove myself but in many ways its an opportunity that is even better than I could have asked for.

I may not be getting off the struggle bus for a bit longer  ... but the bus is slowing down and maybe, just maybe, it will slow down enough so I can step off :-D

Don't give up -- you're not beaten yet

This evening, I came across this version of the Peter Gabriel song, "Don't Give Up" and I think the Universe is finally sending me a word of encouragement (via Facebook no less!)  I've always loved that song, I haven't heard it in a long time and the lyrics are eerily fitting for where I'm at right now -- both the dark and the light.  And I love this version, its *almost* better than the original with Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush.  I don't share Pink's sentiments at the beginning about being useless when happy and pain as a motivator ... but I sure love her voice.  John Legend's voice is so smooth.  And I could listen to Herbie Hancock on the piano all day long.

Don't Give Up

In this proud land we grew up strong, we were wanted all along.

I was taught to fight, taught to win.  I never thought I could fail.

No fight left or so it seems. I am a man whose dreams have all deserted.

I've changed my face, I've changed my name but no one wants you when you lose.

 

Don't give up 'cause you have friends.
Don't give up, you're not beaten yet.
Don't give up. I know you can make it good.

 

Though I saw it all around, never thought I could be affected.
Thought that we'd be the last to go.  It is so strange the way things turn.

Drove the night toward my home, the place that I was born, on the lakeside.
 As daylight broke, I saw the earth, the trees had burned down to the ground.

 

Don't give up, you still have us.
Don't give up, we don't need much of anything.
Don't give up 'cause somewhere there's a place where we belong.

 

Rest your head you worry too much.
It's going to be alright.
When times get rough you can fall back on us.
Don't give up. Please, please don't give up.

 

'Got to walk out of here, I can't take anymore.
Gonna stand on that bridge, keep my eyes down below.
Whatever may come and whatever may go,
That river's flowing. That river's flowing.

 

Moved on to another town, tried hard to settle down.
For every job, so many men, so many men no-one needs.

 

Don't give up 'cause you have friends.
Don't give up, you're not the only one.
Don't give up. No reason to be ashamed. 

Don't give up, you still have us.
Don't give up now. We're proud of who you are.
Don't give up, you know it's never been easy.
Don't give up no matter what you do 

Don't give up 'cause I believe there's a place.
There's a place where we belong.

Riding the Struggle Bus

I don't usually scam graphics from other people's blogs but this one just fits the mood d'jour and so I did it.  I stole it.  And I'm not sorry ... well, OK, that's a lie.  I do feel bad but I'm too tired to Google something better. 

Struggle #1:  I have been actively looking for a job for several months now and have sent out about a zillion resumes.  Responses?  Zero.  So I widened my search to include jobs that I am marginally qualified for and/or grossly over qualified.  Nada.  My Mom, bless her heart, has sent numerous leads my way.  All dead ends.  Its weird but there's just nothing around here!

So I cast a wider geographical net and included Calgary in my search.  I wasn't thrilled about relocating but it seemed necessary.  Finally, surprisingly, I got a call-back from a resume I had sent out over a month earlier and had written off as a dud.  It was a job that I was qualified for, the pay was very good and the type of work it involved was very appealing.  I had a promising interview and I was just waiting for the offer to come through.  And waiting.  Waiting.

Meanwhile back in Riyadh, the King of Saudi Arabia decided to tank the price of oil and in the wake of a panicky oil-based Alberta economy, my potential job fell through.  I was disappointed for sure but not totally surprised.  I've been in this industry long enough to know that that's the way it goes and to be fair, I have had a charmed career, I've come through every boom-bust cycle smelling like a rose.  So I guess its just my turn.  But it still sucks.

All's not lost though, I had another job interview for a Medicine Hat based government job that would at least pay 'some' of the bills (but not all) for the time being.  I jumped through all the hoops -- the "do you have a brain?" test, the interview, the physical fitness assessment -- and I was lead to believe I would be starting ASAP ... but still no offer?  I don't get it.  I really don't.

Struggle #2: When the job in Calgary fell through I came to the conclusion that no one, anywhere, will be hiring until this oil price thing sorts itself out ... which won't be anytime soon.  Years I'm sure.  I crunched some numbers and decided that without a 'real' job I can't afford the house I'm in and as per Struggle #1, there doesn't seem to be a 'real' job on the horizon for this little worker bee.  Switch to Plan 'B' ... or 'F' or 'M' or wherever I am at now.

As luck would have it, I found a double-wide mobile home on Kijiji that is reasonably priced, local and actually looked nice in the photos.  I went to see it and it is nice, its perfect for my acreage and its affordable!  I was ready to put down the money, move it to my place, move in and live happily ever after on my little piece of acreage heaven!  But hold the phone, nothing comes that easily in my world these days!

There was a mobile home on the acreage for a number of years until last spring when it was sold and moved off (in hind-sight that was a mistake.  My mistake.)  Back in the day, my Mom successfully got the Development Permit approved by the County even though the trailer was located within the coulee setback.  My intent was to place this 'new' mobile home on the exact same spot as the old one but seems the County is now enforcing their by-laws more stringently and my chances of getting a DP approved in that same spot is, well, slim at best.  With some Engineering magic, I may be able to challenge that but Engineering magic doesn't come cheap.  I can find a different location for the 'new' house which means a new septic system.  New septic systems don't come cheap.  And it seems house movers REALLY don't come cheap ... like, quadruple what I had budgeted.  Ouch!  Suddenly its not so affordable anymore.

 

Struggle #3: One morning in January I happened to notice that I have a rather large lump in my neck.  I feel OK but went to see my Doctor anyway.  He felt around, ordered some blood work, ordered an ultrasound for late-April, told me to stop taking thyroid supplements and said there is a very very very small chance it could be cancer but most likely is something quite innocuous.  I did the blood tests and went back two weeks later to review the results.  Nothing to see here folks, everything is 'normal' ... until he felt the lump again.  The tone of the appointment changed.  He will expedite my ultrasound if I want and if I feel any change in my health I am to immediately go back to see him.  Disconcerting to say the least.

So that's where I'm at these days.  Riding the Struggle Bus.  Front seat.  I don't know what life lessons I'm supposed to be learning in all this or where this bus is going ... but I'd like to get off now and get on a different one, preferably headed in the other direction!

 

Lilly's Head Update: Vet Follow Up

Well there's good news and bad news after Lilly's follow up with the vet.

The Bad:

The muscle deterioration on the right side of her head has progresses even with a high dose Prednisone and has started on the left side now too. She will probably never regain those muscles so will always look a little goofy (which is really the least of my worries) and according to the research, she will need to be on the drugs indefinitely. The drugs are very hard on her, she's had numerous side effects and its making her irritable (she snapped at me a few days ago when I woke her up from a nap, that is very out if character; not acceptable behavior but I can kinda understand.). She has a very bulgey mid-section, I'm told that's from an enlarged liver which is worrisome.

The Good:

Although she has deteriorated a bit, it is not affecting her ability to open her jaw yet. And we have reduced the dosage in half and that seems to be easing the side effects. More and more, the old Lilly is coming back. Yay! She plays more with Diesel, plays with her toys, tries to play with the Kitty! If we can maintain this and have it keep her healthy, then I think that's the best we can hope for. Its still "wait and see" but its not as bleak as it was last week.

Some pictures of my little Dent Head :-)...

Photo Flashback: Cash and Me (and My Big Butt!)

As I was browsing through my photos folders tonight looking for a picture of Thor, I came across some pictures of Cash and I from the fall of 2013.  Just kind of reminded me of how much I love that big lug and how lucky I've been with all the creatures that have made their way into my little furry family :-)

As an aside, my butt looks pretty big in that picture!  Pretty sure its not that big now ... I need to go look in the mirror!  And 'em are darn shexshy boots too! ;-)

Lilly's Head



Just before New Years I noticed something funny with Lilly: her head was mis-shapened (if that's a word?)  Kinda flat on one side. 

 

It wasn't pronounced but it was definitely there.  Initially I panicked thinking that she had been kicked by one of the horses but she wasn't showing any signs of distress, was perfectly normal in every other way so I decided I was probably being a hypochondriac.  None the less, I took a picture in to the vet's office to see if they thought it was a 'thing' and without skipping a beat, the vet basically said 'yup, its a thing!'  The following week I took her in and the diagnosis is Masticory Myositis.  Something is causing her immune system to attack the muscles (or the nerve that feeds those muscles) on that side of her head which causes them to atrophy.  And its not just a cosmetic anomoly; left untreated, she would eventually be unable to open her jaw (those muscles control chewing).  Not good. 

She has been on a fairly high dose of doggie steroids for a week now to see if we can't get the muscles to rebuild but so far there's been no improvement, and I'm thinking the drugs are not fun for her.  My normally happy bouncy skinny little trouble-maker is lethargic, bloated, weak, sometimes seems confused and scared.  Her tail rarely wags anymore.  At the acreage, she is normally running running running, pester Diesel into a wrestling match and if he's not game, running running running some more.  And when its time to go home ... running running running until she gets caught ... then sleep all the way home!  One of the pure pleasures in my life is watching the dawgs run and play and exude the sheer joy of being alive. Now, its Diesel trying to get the game going and she is really not that interested.  It makes me very sad. 

This is all kind of reminiscent of 2012 when my heart-dog, Thor, developed a limp.  It was a torn ACL and I took him to Great Falls for TPLO surgery.  It was very expensive and very onerous but very worth it since he was just a young dog with his whole life ahead of him and he was my big buddy. 

Sadly, a month into his recovery, he suffered what I think was a heart attack, collapsed and died in my arms.  I was heart broken and I still miss him.  Once again, I have a puppy facing an uncertain future and potentially expensive treatment.  She will be 2 years old in February and I will probably do whatever it takes to get her what she needs even though it will be a big stretch financially.  She has her whole life ahead of her too, she's my baby.  We'll see what gives at her follow-up appointment next week.

When I first noticed the dent Lilly was about the same age as Thor was when he died.

Pulleeessssse can I come up on the bed for a snuggle? I'm asking as nicely as I can and I'll be good, I promise!

 

On a lighter note, she was given a Ginger bread man stuffy for Christmas.  I delayed the impending demise of the Ginger bread man for about 3 weeks but I finally gave it to her and she promptly shredded it to get at the squeaker.  She loves the squeakers!  She even sleeps with it!  Goofy dog!