When I grow up I wanna be a blues guitar legend

I never get tired of watching this clip!  This woman is bloody amazing on the guitar, a real talent! Makes me want to pick it up and play a few chords ... both of them that I know haha  I love how she waves at someone off camera at 2:00 and just keeps on rockin'!  You go girl!

Her name is Joanna Connor ... http://www.joannaconnorband.com/

Photo Flashback: My Girl Minka

The first dog I had as an adult was a boxer I adopted from Boxer Rescue Canada.  Her name was Minka.  She and I definitely had our moments, mostly good but a few that were not so good.  When I moved overseas I decided to rehome her rather than bring her along and a very nice couple (guardian angels!) who had recently lost their boxer took her in.  She was in good hands!  From time to time they sent me pictures and updates, she was definitely living the dream!

 

In 2010 as I was packing up to move back to Canada, they sent me a sad email letting me know that they had made the hard decision to put her to sleep.  When she still lived with me she developed tumours in her throat that were inoperable but not causing her any problems.  However they eventually did progress to the point where they were affecting her quality of life.  She was 13 years old.

 

These pictures are from 2003(?) when my (now ex-)boyfriend and I took her for a run/rollerblade around Glenmore park.  It was a very long day for her, the poor thing just laid down in the grass about 50 meters from the truck would not go any further.  I carried her the rest of the way.

 

 

A couple of new photos of Cash and Cruz

The Boys.

Cruz: We should really find a new place to poo.
Cash: Yeah.  I think I see a spot over there!

Cruz: Seriously?  Zebra print? This is not Africa!  I look ridiculous.

Me:  Sorry but that`s what was on sale.  Deal with it.

Cash: Does this blanket make me look fat?
Me: Yes. That`s because you ARE fat!

The Struggle Bus Update: What a difference a day can make!

A huge weight has been lifted, I finally got a job!  Yay!  I had an interview yesterday which didn`t seem particularly promising at the start but towards the end of the meeting, the big boss said the job is mine if I want it.  That caught me off guard and a little unprepared!

I`ve held my certificate as a Building Safety Codes Officer for a several years but wasn`t very successful at it.  I am just not `salesy` enough to find new clients and build that as a business.  This new job eliminates that, I can focus on what I do best.  Life can now move forward on a whole bunch of ways that were stalled because of my floundering career. The job doesn`t pay quite as much as I`d hoped and I still have to prove myself but in many ways its an opportunity that is even better than I could have asked for.

I may not be getting off the struggle bus for a bit longer  ... but the bus is slowing down and maybe, just maybe, it will slow down enough so I can step off :-D

Don't give up -- you're not beaten yet

This evening, I came across this version of the Peter Gabriel song, "Don't Give Up" and I think the Universe is finally sending me a word of encouragement (via Facebook no less!)  I've always loved that song, I haven't heard it in a long time and the lyrics are eerily fitting for where I'm at right now -- both the dark and the light.  And I love this version, its *almost* better than the original with Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush.  I don't share Pink's sentiments at the beginning about being useless when happy and pain as a motivator ... but I sure love her voice.  John Legend's voice is so smooth.  And I could listen to Herbie Hancock on the piano all day long.

Don't Give Up

In this proud land we grew up strong, we were wanted all along.

I was taught to fight, taught to win.  I never thought I could fail.

No fight left or so it seems. I am a man whose dreams have all deserted.

I've changed my face, I've changed my name but no one wants you when you lose.

 

Don't give up 'cause you have friends.
Don't give up, you're not beaten yet.
Don't give up. I know you can make it good.

 

Though I saw it all around, never thought I could be affected.
Thought that we'd be the last to go.  It is so strange the way things turn.

Drove the night toward my home, the place that I was born, on the lakeside.
 As daylight broke, I saw the earth, the trees had burned down to the ground.

 

Don't give up, you still have us.
Don't give up, we don't need much of anything.
Don't give up 'cause somewhere there's a place where we belong.

 

Rest your head you worry too much.
It's going to be alright.
When times get rough you can fall back on us.
Don't give up. Please, please don't give up.

 

'Got to walk out of here, I can't take anymore.
Gonna stand on that bridge, keep my eyes down below.
Whatever may come and whatever may go,
That river's flowing. That river's flowing.

 

Moved on to another town, tried hard to settle down.
For every job, so many men, so many men no-one needs.

 

Don't give up 'cause you have friends.
Don't give up, you're not the only one.
Don't give up. No reason to be ashamed. 

Don't give up, you still have us.
Don't give up now. We're proud of who you are.
Don't give up, you know it's never been easy.
Don't give up no matter what you do 

Don't give up 'cause I believe there's a place.
There's a place where we belong.

Riding the Struggle Bus

I don't usually scam graphics from other people's blogs but this one just fits the mood d'jour and so I did it.  I stole it.  And I'm not sorry ... well, OK, that's a lie.  I do feel bad but I'm too tired to Google something better. 

Struggle #1:  I have been actively looking for a job for several months now and have sent out about a zillion resumes.  Responses?  Zero.  So I widened my search to include jobs that I am marginally qualified for and/or grossly over qualified.  Nada.  My Mom, bless her heart, has sent numerous leads my way.  All dead ends.  Its weird but there's just nothing around here!

So I cast a wider geographical net and included Calgary in my search.  I wasn't thrilled about relocating but it seemed necessary.  Finally, surprisingly, I got a call-back from a resume I had sent out over a month earlier and had written off as a dud.  It was a job that I was qualified for, the pay was very good and the type of work it involved was very appealing.  I had a promising interview and I was just waiting for the offer to come through.  And waiting.  Waiting.

Meanwhile back in Riyadh, the King of Saudi Arabia decided to tank the price of oil and in the wake of a panicky oil-based Alberta economy, my potential job fell through.  I was disappointed for sure but not totally surprised.  I've been in this industry long enough to know that that's the way it goes and to be fair, I have had a charmed career, I've come through every boom-bust cycle smelling like a rose.  So I guess its just my turn.  But it still sucks.

All's not lost though, I had another job interview for a Medicine Hat based government job that would at least pay 'some' of the bills (but not all) for the time being.  I jumped through all the hoops -- the "do you have a brain?" test, the interview, the physical fitness assessment -- and I was lead to believe I would be starting ASAP ... but still no offer?  I don't get it.  I really don't.

Struggle #2: When the job in Calgary fell through I came to the conclusion that no one, anywhere, will be hiring until this oil price thing sorts itself out ... which won't be anytime soon.  Years I'm sure.  I crunched some numbers and decided that without a 'real' job I can't afford the house I'm in and as per Struggle #1, there doesn't seem to be a 'real' job on the horizon for this little worker bee.  Switch to Plan 'B' ... or 'F' or 'M' or wherever I am at now.

As luck would have it, I found a double-wide mobile home on Kijiji that is reasonably priced, local and actually looked nice in the photos.  I went to see it and it is nice, its perfect for my acreage and its affordable!  I was ready to put down the money, move it to my place, move in and live happily ever after on my little piece of acreage heaven!  But hold the phone, nothing comes that easily in my world these days!

There was a mobile home on the acreage for a number of years until last spring when it was sold and moved off (in hind-sight that was a mistake.  My mistake.)  Back in the day, my Mom successfully got the Development Permit approved by the County even though the trailer was located within the coulee setback.  My intent was to place this 'new' mobile home on the exact same spot as the old one but seems the County is now enforcing their by-laws more stringently and my chances of getting a DP approved in that same spot is, well, slim at best.  With some Engineering magic, I may be able to challenge that but Engineering magic doesn't come cheap.  I can find a different location for the 'new' house which means a new septic system.  New septic systems don't come cheap.  And it seems house movers REALLY don't come cheap ... like, quadruple what I had budgeted.  Ouch!  Suddenly its not so affordable anymore.

 

Struggle #3: One morning in January I happened to notice that I have a rather large lump in my neck.  I feel OK but went to see my Doctor anyway.  He felt around, ordered some blood work, ordered an ultrasound for late-April, told me to stop taking thyroid supplements and said there is a very very very small chance it could be cancer but most likely is something quite innocuous.  I did the blood tests and went back two weeks later to review the results.  Nothing to see here folks, everything is 'normal' ... until he felt the lump again.  The tone of the appointment changed.  He will expedite my ultrasound if I want and if I feel any change in my health I am to immediately go back to see him.  Disconcerting to say the least.

So that's where I'm at these days.  Riding the Struggle Bus.  Front seat.  I don't know what life lessons I'm supposed to be learning in all this or where this bus is going ... but I'd like to get off now and get on a different one, preferably headed in the other direction!