In the (Canadian) News: Dub-ya to Speak in Cowtown

The UAE newspapers carry a surprising amount of Canadian content ... news, events, hockey scores. I read in The Gulf News this afternoon that George W. Bush will be speaking in Calgary next month. I can't find the article on the GN website but a quick Google search turns up plenty of hits. Since all the news agencies seem to get their stories from the same place, here is a mash-up of what's out there (spelling mistakes and all!):

Bush to speak to Calgary audience

Former U.S. president George W. Bush will give one of his first speeches since leaving office to a Calgary audience next month.

"It's our understanding it's one of the first -- if not the first -- times he'll speak since leaving office," said Geoff Pradella, vice-president of public and government affairs at the Calgary Chamber of Commerce, which is partnering in the event.

Organizers Andy McCreath and Christian Darbyshire said Bush will speak to an anticipated audience of 1,500 at a private event on March 17 at the Telus Convention Centre. Darbyshire declined to give details on how much tickets will cost, what Bush will speak about or whether the former president is being paid for his appearance. The same organizers reportedly paid former U.S. president Bill Clinton $150,000 for a March 2006 speech in Edmonton, and have hired Lance Armstrong and Colin Powell for other high-profile speaking engagements in the past.

Invitations to the event say Bush will share his thoughts "on eight momentous years in the Oval Office. "The former president will also speak about "the challenges facing the world in the 21st century." The American Chamber of Commerce in Canada whose goal is to promote Canada/U.S trade is all for Bush's decision to speak in Calgary, says its executive director Norman Leach; "When George Bush speaks here and it is the first one on his speaking tour, people around the world are going to note that Calgary is in those leagues of the Londons and New Yorks and Paris'."

Mount Royal College political scientist Duane Bratt predicts protests but also says there will be many willing to pay what are expected to be lofty ticket prices to hear Bush speak; "The draw that you get is the draw of the presidency, the draw of the office, I mean this is the guy who held the highest post in the world for eight years."

An appearance in Calgary is a good way for the former president to try "dipping his toe" in the public arena, said David Taras, a University of Calgary political science professor. "I think he's probably nervous about how he'll be received, and so Calgary's a safe place," he said, pointing out the city is very conservative and pro-American.

... news of the appearance was given a muted response from Alberta's premier. When Ed Stelmach was asked in a news conference yesterday what he thought of the former president's visit to Alberta, he didn't exactly call out the Welcome Wagon for Bush. "He's a free man," said Stelmach. "He can travel to any country he wants."

(Gotta love steady Eddie ... he calls 'em as he sees 'em!)

CTV
CBC
Canoe.ca
The Toronto Star
CHCA News
ViveleCanada.ca
CityTV

Some reader comments from around cyberspace:

So, the war criminal president is speaking before a private audiance of supportive Canadians. The public is not invited. Sounds like the same stuff he was doing when he was pres. It just seems more pathetic now. He needs to watch out for being arrested for war crimes and having shoes thrown at him. That's quite a leader we just had.

Bush is not coming to Canada to address Canadians, we want no part of him. Bush is coming to downtown Calgary to address the executives of American Oil Companies that have co-opted Canada's petroleum reserves through the corruption and take-over of our democratically elected government.The streets will be lined with citizens holding shoes. (GWB should be so lucky to see citizens only holding their shoes, it's the flying ones he's gotta be worried about!)

Not doing themselves any favours: Albertans have a bit of a reputation as rednecks. Having Bush speak in Calgary isn't going to go very far in dispelling that myth.

1500 invited? Wow! That's 3000 shoes!

Now do I wear my Adidas or Nike shoes? My Sorel boots would hurt more, but they might be hard to throw.

Forget about wearing sneakers, wear ice skates instead.

The former president will also speak about "the challenges facing the world in the 21st century." Does this fool not realise that these "challenges" are the Bush legacy to the world. I hope nobody tells this clown that cowboy boots are the preferred choice of footwear in Calgary.

Why would any one pay to see a chimp trying to speak? C'mon Canadians! something little heavier than a leather shoe this time please..how about a steel toe boot?

Will the Comedy Channel care it?

LOL Bush is going to "speak"? Funny, he couln't speak for 8 years! He couldn't even put a sentence together with verbs, nouns, etc. Did he all of a sudden learn a new trick? 'Spot, roll over", "Fido: sit up". "Rover: fetch". You might know he was going to speak to an Oil company! Go figure! I'm like the others here! Lock the border! Don't let him back in! He committed "war" crimes. He committed crimes against this country! :(

... please don't call george bush a no good dog. It gives all dogs a bad name and the dogs certainly don't deserve to be lumped in the same category as little george.

Who gives a rats fat butt if the former president comes to Alberta or Canada for that matter. He clearly had nothing but distaine for our country when he was president. I think we shoud make him feel as welcome as he made Canada feel. Honestly, I coudnt imagine that there are 1500 people that hard up for something to do with their evening! Might I suggest dinner and a movie!

I'm not a fan of "W" but admit, I would go see him just out of curiosity, kinda like driving by a car crash. My invitation to the private event was probably lost in the mail though. As an aside, I saw the movie "W" a month ago, kind of a bizarre movie -- part docu-drama, part parody -- I suggest waiting until it comes out on DVD ... or the discount bins at Walmart.

I like president George W. Bush. A lot. Always have. In spite of what the press reports and the late night comedians portray, he is fundamentally a decent man. President Bush is far smarter, more articulate and less ideological than his plentiful detractors scream, and, ultimately, he will be judged by history - not by vengeful Democrats, hate-filled Hollywood, envy filled Canadians, corrupt foreign governments, an imploding mainstream media or fleeting approval ratings. Most Canadians and Americans pay closer attention to American Idol than to Operation Iraqi Freedom. Intelligent independent critical thinking is absent. When peace and prosperity come to the Middle East, and it will, the President Obama and the Democrats and left wing media will attempt to claim it as their success. But history will judge Bush according to his Bush Doctrine and will judge him kindly. He will receive the credit for that success, and will receive the Nobel Peace prize circa 2030.

As far as I am concerned, former President Bush is always welcome here in Canada.

I put these last two in here because they were the only pro-Bush comments I read. Perhaps there will only be 2,996 shoes thrown his way.

So Dubya will "share his thoughts on eight years in office" Did he have any?

Yup, apparently he did! Read on:

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W Bush
I think we all agree, the past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertaintyand potential mental loses. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?Will the highways of the internet become more few?

How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me. I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity. I know that the human being and the fish can coexist. Families is where our nation finds hope, where ourwings take dream. Put food on your family! Knock down the tollbooth Vulcanize society! Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
(ha ha ... the spell/grammar checker had fun with that one!)

Maybe they ought to change the title of his debut speech as past-president. My suggestion: "Make the PILE higher."

Locked out: A Keyless Saga

About 2 weeks ago I called the Mitsubishi dealership for an appointment to have the Pajero serviced, which was long overdue. This morning was the day to take it in. After an hour and a half search all through Al Quoz, I finally found the damned place! By this time, work was already calling -- three missed calls and a "where are you?" SMS -- so I hurriedly filled out the service forms, handed over the keys and zipped off to join the work day already in progress. It was a relatively normal day but then a strange feeling as I was leaving to catch a taxi home: I gave away my vehicle key which, unfortunately, still has my apartment key attached! Doh! How was I going to get in???

Plan A: call the dealership, take a taxi there, get my key and then taxi home. Nope. Al Habtoor Motors closes at 1:30pm on Thursdays (and customer service as we know it is virtually non-existent here ... no after-hours number, no answering service, not even a "call back when we're open" recorded message!) And tomorrow is the weekend so they will not re-open until Saturday. Doh!

Plan B: Did I happen to stash a key outside my apartment? I remember thinking I should do that for exactly this kind of situation. But did I do it? I couldn't remember. I remember having a mental debate of the pros and cons of a stashed key; the pro being peace of mind, the con being security. Obviously security won out. Or I just never finished that thought. Either way, no stashed key.

I was starting to feel very drained. It was the end of a long, busy day. What if I can't get in? Where will I go? I could call someone and ask to crash on their couch ... but how embarrassing! Will I have to wander the streets of Dubai for the next 36 hours until the garage re-opens and I can get my key back? The mental picture that was emerging was not appealing.

Plan C: If all else fails, go to a hotel. Just need a bed to sleep. Wouldn't be the end of the world. I've often thought I would like to stay at the Jumeirah Emirates Towers Hotel, maybe I could do that tonight? I hear it is very nice albeit a bit pricey! The same clothes for 36 more hours? Nah, go buy new ones, that's what credit cards are for! Heck, it could be like a mini vacation! Room Service, satellite TV, a beer from the mini-bar! Maybe this won't be so bad after all!

Plan D: There's a locksmith a few blocks from my building. Twenty minutes and 200 Dirhams later, I was home. I was kind of balking at the price but compared to Plan C, it was the more sensible solution.

As the locksmith was finishing up, the conversation went like this:

"Madam, we have 24-hour emergency service. I forgot my
business cards back at the shop. Perhaps I will bring you one."

"That's OK, I already have one. Maybe I should put it in my
wallet for next time (ha ha!)"

"Maybe you should put one of your spare keys in your
wallet."

Touché.

Random Pictures

I bought a video camera in October but have barely used it yet. On Saturday, one of my few days off in the last little while, I was gonna go to the Ras al Khor bird sancuary, something I have intended to do for a long time. I drive by the flocks of flamingos and hurons(?) everyday and I want to get some pictures. I got to the sanctuary only to discover that my battery was out of juice :-( Yes, I should probably just stick to being Rhonda's sherpa. Ras al Khor will have to be another time.

For still shots, this camera is surpisingly poor. I think I will end up buying a digital camera afterall. None the less, with battery charged, I took a few random shots on my way home tonight.




The new Dubai World Trade Center under construction across the street from Emirates Towers. I can see this from the window of our offices. When I arrived DWTC was just a big hole in the sand. All year they've been busily building building building ... hauling, piling, forming, pouring ... but its still pretty much only at ground level.







Everything here that is green is irrigated. If not irrigated, it quickly tuns brown. The grounds of Emirates Towers are very lush and green, it is a lovely area except when the sprinklers come on at night. They use "grey water" to irrigate and the smell is ... uh ... less than fresh.




The shopping center nearest International City is the Dragonmart. Also known as "China Mall". There doesn't seem to be a very big oriental population here but those that are here seem to congergate at the Dragonmart. The bottom left corner is a bit fountain with dragons spewing water.



This is Russia cluster in International City. I do not live in Russia cluster. All that water you see in front of the building? Not really water. More like sewage overflow and yes, it has flooded that whole side of the street. Suddenly grey water does not seem so bad!

Italy cluster. Home sweet home. Well, until my lease comes up in May anyway. One of the benefits of the economic bust and the exodus of ex-pats en masse is the supply and demand graph is ever so slighty tipped in favour of the tenant and the ridculous rents demanded by greedy landlords a year ago are ever so slightly less ridiculous now.

UPDATED: A Sign of the Times

One day I will figger out all the intricacies and nifty tricks of the blogosphere. There is a way to "backtrack" to another blog but at the moment, I don't have the time so I have to just plagiarize in my usual way.


Anyhow, here is the subject of this post:

I first heard about this on a radio interview with the Porsche owner, Andy, a Construction PM who was (obviously) looking for a new job here. He said the back of the car needed to be "redone" anyway so he wrote on it.

The photo was taken by "Seabee" and posted on his blog Life in Dubai. The media in the UK picked up on it and from there the photo and the story have circled the globe! "Seabee" called in during the radio interview and talked about why he took the photo. Kind of a sign of the times.

Losing your job here is a big deal. One must be "sponsored" in order to live here and for most of us, that is our employers. The employment laws are rather convoluted but as I understand it, when one loses their job, your Visa is cancelled and you have a one month grace period (maybe two if your employer is generous) to either find another job (or sponsor) or leave the country. Since employment prospects are rather grim now, many people are pretty much forced to pack up and go home.

**************************************

UPDATE: 28 February 09

The good news for Porsche-Guy (aka Andrew Blair) is that all the exposure around the photo of his car resulted in a new job. Someone called the number enquiring about the car and ended up hiring him. Nice to hear. The National newspaper.

The bad news for Porsche-Guy is because of all the exposure around the photo of his car, his driving record and outstanding fines came under scrutiny and the car was impounded! In Dubai, one can go to the Dubai Police website, type in a license plate number (not necessarily your own) and see all the dirty little secrets of that car's owner. Since the plate number was on the original photo, some bloggers with more free time than I have checked it out; seems he had 3,850 Dirhams ($1,336CDN) in unpaid fines.

Porsche-guy says he has been humbled by the experience (having to take taxis everywhere will do that to ya!), it has opened his eyes to the fragility of this place and alls well that ends well

Incidentally, I have 1,500 Dirhams ($520CDN) in fines. They opened up the new Za'abeel Road a while back and I was using that beautiful new 3-lane freeway everyday for a few weeks before I noticed that the speed limit is only 80kph. Dubai is more or less "tax-free" but they've got other ways of generating revenue.

The Jack-Ass in Court

Yesterday (or today if you are on that side of the planet) was the next court appearance in Calgary for my jack-ass ex-boyfriend. This was for the charges filed against him on my behalf from our "domestic incident" five and a half years ago.

When I attended court in November, the judge ordered him to attend anger management counselling and he was to reappear in court on February 20th. If he completed the counselling program at that time, the charges would be dropped; if he did not, the case would go to trial.

The good news from yesterday is that the charges were not dropped. Judging from the attitude of the Crown Prosecutor in November, I half expected that the whole thing would be dismissed whether he fulfilled his end of the deal or not. He has requested more time and the matter was adjourned until April 15th.

The bad news is he obviously has not had counselling yet. I don't know the reason for the adjournment but it is probable that the counselling services have a long waiting list. Or he is just so messed up that the counsellors are still trying to figger out what to do with him.

Or (my conspiracy theory) he is exploiting the system again. In the same way he hid from the law for 5 years so the charges would eventually fall off the books, he is applying the same stall tactics through the courts except that he now has a lawyer who's as slippery as they come.

I saw the inner workings of his psyche when we were together and I have no reason to believe there is anything different now. He has a deep down need to "get away with it" ... "it" being anything he can! Sneaking into movies, a free meal, excessive use store return/refund policies (buy it, use it, throw a loud and public tantrum if they will not take it back), use of people's things (computers, cameras, vehicles) without their knowledge and/or consent, driving without a licence, continuing to "play the field" ... the list goes on and on. Any means necessary to perpetuate his free ride is justified in his mind and that includes lies, bullying and physical force. Having seen first hand the lengths he went to to try and get out of the charges against him by another previous ex-girlfriend, I am happy to be out of the country and out of reach. Fortunately he did not succeed in weaselling his way out, he was convicted but then failed to complete his sentances. My fear is that he will get a counsellor who buys into his crap instead of digging for the truth and looking for a real solution to the "Rick" problem.

So its not over yet. And in the mean time he is still out there, probably looking for his next meal ticket.

On another note, a couple of people I know saw a psychic a few weeks ago and the predictions she gave have been eerily accurate so far! I am curious but at the same time, not sure I want to know. I called anyway; she is fully booked for the next few months. Coincidently, I have an appointment to see her in April just a few days before jack-ass ex-boyfriend's next court date. Since the courts and the 'system' are not too forthcoming with information, maybe she will tell me what's going on and how this is all going to end!!!

In The News: UAE to safeguard jobs of nationals

A new law came into effect this week regulating the termination of an Emirati national's employment. They can not be made redundant for "flimsy" reasons. Here is a mash up of clips and quotes from The Financial Times, The National and The Gulf News:

UAE to safeguard jobs of nationals

The United Arab Emirates labour ministry on Wednesday said it would regulate the dismissal of nationals working in the private sector, raising another level of protection around the local workforce as the ravages of the financial crisis cut deep into the Gulf state.

Issued by Saqr Gobash, labour minister, the order threatens to raise concerns among investors in the Arab world’s second-largest economy as the financial crisis forces companies to trim staff levels that ballooned during the six-year petrodollar boom.

Property and financial companies, especially in Dubai, have been shedding staff since the credit crunch triggered a real estate crash in the emirates. The gloom has spread to other previously vibrant sectors, such as tourism, with the recently opened Atlantis hotel cutting staff and Dubai hospitality giant Jumeirah planning redundancies.

Any company wanting to terminate the employment contract of a UAE national must be able to prove that the worker is inefficient or has violated labour laws:

• absenteeism


• arriving to work under the influence of alcohol (if most are Muslim, is this really a problem???)


• stealing from the company


• forging identity documents


• non-performance of basic duties. "The decision is to regulate the termination of Emiratis working in the private sector. It does not deprive the employer of the right to hold Emiratis accountable for their low-performance," said Bin Deemas.


• committing mistakes, which result in substantial material loss for the employer
  

The economic downturn will not be reason enough to make Emirati staff redundant. Even in cases where Emiratis underperform or their positions are scrapped in a general staff reduction, they must be retained in other roles.

Employers seeking to dismiss locals will have to apply to the labour ministry 30 days in advance of any termination order, Humaid bin Demas, acting director general of the labour ministry, said at the ministry’s Dubai office.

One human resources officer, who declined to be identified because of the sensitivity of the issue, said the move could affect the flexibility of employers and hurt Dubai’s competitiveness. Emiratis already have stronger employment rights than expatriate counterparts, and firing nationals is tricky, say employers.

A corporate headhunter, however, said the policy was a “knee-jerk reaction” by the Government that “could backfire”.

“I have lived in Middle East and Saudi Arabia for over 16 years. where they had passed policies like this that have led to a huge problems in the workforce,” said Jack Montgomery, an independent executive-recruitment consultant based in Dubai. “In Saudi you will find locals not hiring locals because when they do hire them they find it extremely difficult to shift them. “Companies would now avoid hiring Emiratis when once they looked for nationals as a matter of pride and as the face of the organisation.”

Mr Montgomery said companies with a large number Emirati employees – especially banks, where up to half the employees are Emiratis – would be affected the most. “Usually when companies are laying off people it means it is either folding the company or getting rid of those who underperform. So now, where would companies get the money to retrain Emirati staff that they can’t shift to another department? Especially in a time like this it would be difficult.”

The ministry passed the order after studying a proposal from a government body that promotes local employees in the private sector, which highlighted the case earlier this month of 20 nationals made redundant by local conglomerate Al Futtaim Group, which has extensive retail and real estate interests.

Al Futtaim Group had said they were terminated because the company was "restructured in light of the current global financial crisis." In reference to about 20 Emiratis who were made redundant last week by Al Futtaim Group, Mr bin Demas said: “It is our social responsibility to keep all Emiratis in work, and I would like to play down fears that people are losing their jobs because they are not and you can see that by the number of complaints we have had in the last year.” He said the Al Futtaim layoffs were the only cases of Emiratis losing their jobs for economic reasons.“Our concern is the concern of all Emiratis, all companies and expatriates and I would like to move and reassure everyone and calm down talks of hysteria.”

UAE nationals form a tiny proportion of the private sector workforce, preferring the more comfortable public sector, along with “quasi-governmental” companies, which, while nominally private, maintain close links to the government.

But some businessmen are worried the order will make it even harder to discipline and manage local staff. The ministry shrugged off such concerns. “How can 15,000 locals out of a 3m private sector workforce be such an issue?” said Mr bin Demas.

The onshore financial sector could be particularly affected, but not the Dubai International Financial Centre, which like other free zones is exempt from such labour legislation.

Under the existing Emiratisation quota system, banks have to recruit nationals at a rate of 4 per cent annually, and insurance companies at 5 per cent. Any commercial company that has more than 50 employees has to recruit UAE nationals at a rate of 2 per cent.

Feddah Lootah, acting director-general at the National Human Resource Development and Employment Authority (Tanmia), said this decision will curb the practice of some companies to exploit the current global financial situation to escape from their Emiratisation responsibilities.

I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. It is somewhat rooted in the "national pride" movement and no one can fault them for trying to protect their own in these shaky times; the EU and the US are talking protectionism too. This law covers 0.5% of the overall work force. Granted, most of the work force are foreigners and the law is intended to benefit the locals. However, it covers only that minority portion of UAE nationals in the private sector and further reduces the count by excluding those employed in the free-zones. It was the result of a complaint by 20 individuals (0.13% of those who are covered). Two of the big property developers Nakheel and Emaar (both "quasi-government" companies) are huge employers of Emiratis, their layoff announcements have been among the most shocking. I'm curious how many of those were Emiratis (who are not covered by this week's law.)


A very miniscule percentage of the overall workforce (0.0006%) have managed to get an entire law dedicated to their cause ... and this Mr bin Demas thinks this will not be a management problem how? Perhaps he is correct in that it is probably not HIS problem. Same guy also says he "would like to play down fears that people are losing their jobs because they are not". There's a LOT of sand in the UAE and his head is firmly buried under a big freakin' pile of it!

Bottom line is the squeaky wheels got greased and some of the big wigs got some mileage out of the media coverage.

In surfing around the net and reading some comments and forums, I was surprised to see the resentment of some locals towards the ex-pats telling all of us to go home and one actually used the word "invasion". There were also apologies from other locals for their country-men's rude attitude. I have personally experienced mostly kind hospitality from of the people here so long as you respect their culture and country (which I try to) and allow them to feel they are superior (OK, whatever).

In general (but by no means absolutely), Emiratis in the workforce are not thought to be the most productive and responsible of employees. They do their job but usually on their own time and terms. They seem to be rather unmotivated as a whole and the government is trying to implement initiatives to raise their level of education, their language skills (English and Arabic!) and their expertise in subjects that matter (Engineering, business) instead the soft sciences (art history, anthrology).

Interestingly, there is a difference between the "have" Emiratis and the "have not" Emiratis. I believe that in the Northern Emirates, many of the locals live a much lower standard than in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I have not spent much time there so can't really say.

When I first arrived here last year, the Emiratis were described to me as not being able (or willing) to do the menial jobs but not equiped to take over the high level executive-type jobs. Without the expats to wait tables, clean toilets, pump gas and do business here, there would be no modern Dubai. They like to enjoy the fruits of the "new" Dubai (as they should) but they also like to resent those of us here building it for them and with them. You can't really have it both ways.

There is a story about a man who sold hot dogs by the roadside.

There is a story about a man who sold hot dogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hot dogs. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more meat and got himself a bigger and a better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from college, joined his father.

Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad time." The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, and listened to the radio, he ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day, the father cut down his order for the meat and buns, took down the sign and was no longer enthusiastic. Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hot dog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Dragonfly

The last 2 weeks have been nothing short of insane at work. The two projects that I have always seem to collide, both needing a monumental, full-time effort to keep them on track. None the less, I had my head down, nose to the grindstone, slogging my way through towards the faint and distant light at the end of the tunnel. But then office politics blew up in my face and I felt defeated. I am too naive to play that game. I was ready to give up but my boss wouldn't let me; as any good manager needs to do from time to time, he read me the riot act (in a nice way but the message was clear), gave me a kick in the pants and slowly, painfully, kicking and screaming, dragged me out of my funk.

It is now the weekend, the most immediate fires are out and I am having a guilt-free, relaxing Friday off. My chirporactor (a Muslim) does not work on Fridays so I decided a massage would be the next best thing. I had a 1 hour session at Dragonfly Therapeutic Retreat. Not the cheapest place around, 1 hour cost 199Dhs ($67CDN) but ... WOW! ... it was worth every penny (or fil)! I had knots and kinks and aches up and down my neck and spine that I didn't even know were there! But I walked out feeling a million times better. Once I see my chiropractor tomorrow, I will be good as new and ready to take on the world once more.

According to the Dragonfly "service menu", they offer some other services that struck me as curious. Perhaps my naivity extends to the realm of spa treatments as well:

Full face waxing for women (includes forehead, eyebrows, cheeks, upper lip and chin): 60 Dhs ($20CDN) ... do people actually wax their forehead??? I guess some people have not evolved beyond the apes as much as others and may need this service, I dunno.

Buttocks waxing (for women): 40Dhs ($13CDN) ... are there a lot of women out there who need to wax their ass? (incidentally men's buttocks waxing costs the same, hardly seems fair!)

Brazilian wax: 75Dhs ($25CDN) ... no mention if general anesthetic is included.

Not Always So

This week was one of those kinds of weeks; the kind that you hope you never have to repeat. Ironically this week was Groundhog Day ... here's hoping that I don't wake up to find that I lived it all wrong and I have to live it over and over again until I get it right (as in the Bill Murray movie)!!! Ugh! I won't bore y'awl with the gritty details but suffice it to say that in the windshield/bug scenario, I felt like the bug more often than not.

When things are going badly, there are a couple of phrases that come to mind that usually bring it all back into perspective (along with an ounce or two of single malt scotch) ... forgive me if I have blogged about this before: First one, from Jewish wisdom folklore:

"This too shall pass" ... or if Zen Buddhism is more your thing, "Not always so".

Those phrases have similar meanings (in my mind anyway): When things go well, be humble and cherish it. Things will not always be that way. When things go badly, be humble and take heart. Things will get better.

Second one, from the oldest living person on record, Jeanne Louise Calment (February 21, 1875 to August 4, 1997):

"I took pleasure when I could. I acted clearly and morally and without regret. I'm very lucky."

Its the 'act clearly, morally and without regret' part that sticks with me. Hey, if it works for the woman who lived 122 years, it works for me! One has to think that she was onto something!

So what's the point of all this? Yeah, this week felt like a shit-storm. Yeah, I learned some lessons the hard way. Yeah, I probably could have done things better, differently, smarter. But I'm OK. I will always be OK. Somewhere down the road, there will be a repeat of this week; a different time, different place and different set of circumstances but the net result will be the same. Stay humble, stay true and know that things will change.

And when I'm 122 years old (insha'allah!) none of this will matter!

As an aside, I came across a few other Jeanne Louise Calment 'gems' in my Google search of her:

"I've been forgotten by our Good Lord"

"I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it" (Uh, I dunno 'bout that, I saw her photo. Perhaps with her dim vision she wasn't able to see the mirror. But none the less, it is witty coming from someone her age.)

"Wit doesn't make girls pretty." (like I said ...)

"Always keep your smile. That's how I explain my long life."

"Every age has its happiness and troubles."

"I never wear mascara; I laugh until I cry too often."

"I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything's fine." (I hear ya Jeanne! I feel the same way some days!)

"I'm interested in everthing but passionate about nothing."

My all time personal favorite:

"In life, one sometimes makes bad deals." Comments on the notary public, Andre-Francois Raffray, who purchased her apartment, promising to pay $500 per month until Jeanne died. He paid twice the market value for the apartment before dying in December of 1995. Statistically speaking, it was a good deal! Who woulda thunk she would out live everybody! He was probably taking advantage of a frail old lady so maybe it served him right.

And according to Wikipedia (my source for all things trivial):

She gave up smoking only five years before her death at the age of 117 years. Though she relapsed for a year, she finally gave up smoking at the age of 119 years (blindness made it difficult for her to light a cigarette, and she was reluctant to ask others for help).

So how was my day you ask?

Some days you're the windshield.
Some days you're the bug.