Rant Alert: I feel cheap and resentful.

I'm going to put a rare "rant for the sake of ranting" post here because the place/web forum that I usually rant about horse-related stuff may not be appropriate ... the person/situation I am ranting about may read it (its a small world you know!)  Normally I don't condone ranting if you're not going to do something to fix whatever's got yer panties in a knot but I'm not ready to deal with this head on yet.  Maybe I am making mountains out of mole-hills. Since I only have ~1 subscriber here now (and its not her), I think I'm safe to rant my heart's content haha.

Background:
I have someone boarding their horse at my acreage, we'll call the horse 'D' and the owner is 'T'.  I wasn't planning on doing that but it seemed like an OK idea at the time. T explained that she rode quite a bit as a kid and that having a horse as an adult is fulfilling a bucket list item.  "Getting back into horses" was a bucket list item of mine several years ago and I truly appreciated some thoughtful assistance to make that happen when I bought Cash.  So I felt good about paying it forward to someone else's B-list. She's a nice person, beautiful family and her enthusiasm is infectious; I need injections of enthusiasm from time to time and her gentle prodding for me to ride more ... hasn't actually gotten me riding more but its good for me to be pushed outside my comfort zone sometimes.  As well, I could use some help looking after the horses once in a while.  But I am really second guessing this boarding arrangement.

The Rant:
I noticed almost from the outset that T is very green with horses.  She does a lot of things that I would not do and I believe to be ... well, wrong and/or dangerous and/or just plain foolish.  I myself am not an expert on horses so I am reluctant to say too much for fear that she may know more than I give her credit for and I know that I tend to err way too far on the side of caution.  The part that bothers me is that she doesn't seem interested or open to learning.  She has other 'horsey' friends that she trusts who are not shy about offering their opinions so I leave it to them to be her circle of influence for now.  I generally keep my opinions and judgements to myself.

Speaking of T's 'horsey' friend, T texted me a few days after D arrived that her friend came out to see him and she (the 'horsey' friend) said there's something wrong with Cruz (my new horse).  I kind of panicked, I had just moved Cruz home and had just seen him earlier that morning to check on a nasty cut he had on his shoulder.  No, its his feet she tells me.  I'm still panicked.  His feet were fine when I saw him, what's wrong now?!  When I checked on him, it really was nothing.  Some cracks on his hoof that are not unusual late in summer when the pastures are dry and their hooves dry out.  Me thinks it was just T trying to sound knowledgeable (which she clearly wasn't) and her (judgemental?) horsey friend made a comment on one of my horses.  I try not to be one of the stereotypical judgemental "horse" people but at that point I really wasn't impressed with 'horsey' friend or with T.

Riding with Uggs ... or hiking boots or runners or any footwear without a heel: not a good idea.  Since my first memories of riding with my parents as a wee whippersnapper, I have always been taught that footwear with a heel is non-negotiable.  If you get into a wreck, your (heel-less) foot slips thought the stirrup and you are dragged to your death, its your own fault!

Riding a new horse (if you've only owned him for 5 weeks, he's still 'new' to you IMO) bareback, with a rope halter in the pasture.  I dunno, just seems like an 'advanced' rider activity, not to be attempted by beginners.

Hand feeding treats to a horse that tends to be dominant.  And D is definitely dominant when he thinks he can get away with it!

D was gelded late; from what his former owner says he managed to knock up several mares before he was snipped so I'm guessing he was done at 2 or 3 years old, possibly later (he's ~15yo now).  He is quite "studdy".  My first "note to self" on his dominant nature was shortly after he arrived: D and Cash were together in the pasture; I was petting Cash who has improved A LOT in letting me approach him and pet him anywhere anytime.  I was lovin' on him for being such a good boy when he started to get antsy and pull away.   Low and behold, here comes D, literally pushing himself in between Cash and I, ears pinned as flat as they will go!  Naturally Cash was nervous and pulling away which is EXACTLY the thing I am working on him to NOT do!  I backed off D three times before he finally stayed away and let me get back to my boy Cash.  I have to say, that experience gave me some confidence; I dealt with D instinctively and immediately and without one iota of intimidation or fear.  I was in charge.

Speaking of D's former owner, apparently she showed up at my acreage one day to see him without any communication with me ... the land owner.  She texted T after she visited and apparently T told her that she needs to call ahead next time.  If that went down the way T says, I can't fault her for that.  And its not the end of the world that this lady came to see her baby ... but I was rather annoyed that someone would invite themselves onto my private property and not tell me. A courtesy call goes a long way to keeping good feelings! I will be installing that security system sooner rather than later.

When D is acting up, T will "run him in circles" (aka free-lunging) to get him to behave.  She doesn't really know why one does that except that 'horsey' friend showed her that.  I am not a lunging expert but from what I see, she's doing it wrong and D is confused.  I once free-lunged D because he was being a turd to me at feeding time; he is actually very good at it, he knows the deal!  It only took a couple of laps around the pen before he stopped, joined up with me and there were no other problems that day.

T is also very high energy and D is sensitive to that.  I've noticed that when she arrives to work with D, all of them get more edgy.  On one occasion, she was running D in circles in the pen because she couldn't catch him.  Cash was in the pen as she was doing that and I could see him getting quite riled up ... he is also quite attuned to a person's energy and he was also being given the run around.  This was one of the rare occasions that I spoke up, I asked her to please stop while I get Cash out of there.  As worked up as he was, my boy Cash stood still while I walked up to him with the halter, put it on and lead him out.  Wow!  As irked as I was that she was potentially spoiling my horse, I was so proud of him for being a good boy for me :-)  I have been working on this since I brought him home, he likes the "you can't catch me" game so it was really gratifying to see that the effort paying off. 

One evening when the mosquitoes were particularly bad, I fly-sprayed all three of them.  Cruz was the least bothered by this, just stood at the hay bin while I sprayed him down, no halter or anything.  Cash was not as apathetic and I needed to catch him for this.  D was also not so cooperative, he was actually being an evasive turd!  Took him less than 1 minute to figger out that I would have none of it, he turned to face me and off we went to finish the task at hand.  From what I'm told, T has problems catching him (and tries to solve it by the 'running in circles' thing) so I feel a teensy bit vindicated that my calm, methodical, patient approach is a better way.  One can't be in a hurry when it comes to the horses, that much I have learned!

Cruz is very thin and ribby.  I'm not sure if that's a young thoroughbred thing or if he just needs to eat more.  He is also the bottom of the pecking order while D is top dog. At one feeding, D was running Cruz out of the pen entirely so that Cruz wouldn't have gotten any supper if I hadn't been there.  So I brought Cruz back in, locked D out, when Cruz was done eating, I let D back in to finish his supper.  Sorry, my horses eat first.  Period.

I am still quite tentative about riding Cash after last year's little "eat the dirt" incident.  Totally irrational after all this time I know, but I still am.  T was texting me to go riding with her and I explained that I will ride Cash in the arena if it is not too muddy but I won't ride him out in the pasture.  And I won't ride Cruz until we've worked through some ground-manners issues.  Her response was "Do you want me to ride him (Cash) for you?"  HA!  I actually laughed out loud to that.  Really?  You think you're *that* good that you can ride a (very tall) horse (that she is otherwise kind of intimidated by) that's been known to buck?  It just proved to me how naïve she is ... and not going to lie, I was kind of insulted.

Part of the reason I don't ride with T is I don't feel confident that if something were to happen, she could handle the situation.  She's obviously green which makes me feel like I have to be responsible for everyone and everything ... and I'm just not that confident in my own abilities to take on the additional responsibility.  And I don't feel confident that she's open to my suggestions on how to avoid bad situations.

T texted me last week to ask if she could bring her targets and cross-bow to practice at my place.  I didn't respond because, frankly, I'm not crazy about it.  I'm just not a "weapons" person.  The next day when I went out to feed the boys, she came out.  We were having a friendly chat when another pick-up came down the road.  Since my acreage is such that any vehicle coming down that road is obviously coming to my acreage I pointed it out.  Oh yeah, her Dad is coming out, they are going to shoot some targets.  Wha ...?  Really?  I didn't actually agree to that.  I didn't say anything in that moment, its a relatively harmless activity and I was taken off guard but it made me realize that I need to start reining in how she is using my property as if its her own.  Ask permission and so you won't have to ask for forgiveness!

I let all three of the horses out into the big pasture this weekend since I was going out of town for a few days.  They can eat grass and don't need their twice-daily dose of hay.  I texted her that we can leave D in the pen (which was her preference) but she would have to feed him.  Apparently she didn't have time or didn't want to (so my idea that I would have help once in a while to look after them hasn't panned out as I thought it would) so she agreed to let him out ... but I was to bring him back in when I return.  I decided that no, I'll do what's easiest for me.  Its not part of the agreement that I drive out twice a day specifically to feed only her horse, nor is it my responsibility to bring him in from the pasture.  The whole reason she boarded at my place was so her horse could be out in the pasture to "be a horse" and not be cooped up in a small paddock.  But it seems that now she wants him in the pen because its more convenient ... but doesn't want to or doesn't have time to look after him when he's in the pen.  So I'm expected to do it.

She went out to work with him this afternoon and had to retrieve him out of the pasture, had some trouble with that from what she said.  She left him in the pen again.  I warned her that I may not be able to go out and feed him tonight but she thinks he will be fine until tomorrow morning (so 16 hours without food).  I don't think that's healthy for him but that was her choice.  As time goes by I am less and less willing to 'jump' at everything.

The latest "issue" is that she bought "halfers" in a 3 month old filly that her 'horsey' friend has and she would *really* like to keep it here.  I'm a little perplexed as to what a green rider/trainer is going to do with a baby horse but that's not my call.  I suspect she's still riding the emotional high of having D in her life and wasn't really thinking about how this is really going to work out in the long run.  When I first met T, before she even bought D, I was very specific that I am only willing to accept geldings.  Cash gets funny around the mares and I just don't want to deal with the hassle and stress of it.  So why she thinks a young filly would get a  different answer ...?  In all honesty, it just sounds like more work for me.  My diplomatic answer was that the grass in the pasture can really only support 4 horses so if my niece's horse comes back, its maxed out (which is the honest truth.) Her response was, "OK its your place."  Yes, yes it is!  She's willing to pay more if she can bring it, would that change my mind?  I pointed out that the herd dynamics we got going on there would be challenging and its probably not even safe for the filly.  T says we would separate her for a while, obviously, but I don't think she's thought this one through either: I only have one pen ... and D is using it!  So where, pray tell, are we going to put this new filly?  Build more fences?  Again, that just sounds like more work/expense for me. I've kind of been letting other things slide but on this, I stand my ground.  It kind of reminds me of a former (problem) boyfriend who used to pester me with the same question over and over again in slightly different ways hoping I would relent and give him what he wanted!  OK, seriously, she's not as bad as that... but it does remind me of him and his very exhausting tactics.

Did I mention that I am charging a very reasonable rate to board D?  And that includes hay which is uber expensive and hard to find this year?!  In T's defence, she has been very proactive in sourcing out hay which I did appreciate.  But I am not coming out ahead financially on this.  Me thinks this is the lesson: if you set your self up as 'cheap', people treat you as if that's exactly how much you are worth.

I guess the long and short of it is that there have been a few good things about having a boarder and a few things I did not expect. I won't evict T and D but I won't be sorry if/when she decides to move him somewhere else and I suspect she will do that sooner rather than later. I probably won't take on another boarder, I have Cash and his sidekick, Cruz and possibly Benji, my niece's horse so he won't end up in the hands of a meat buyer. 

And honestly, my acreage has become my happy place and I am struggling with sharing my sanctuary.  Having to look after someone else's horse takes away from my quality time with my own guys.  I can't have my 'alone' time out there when someone else is there.  And I resent 'strangers' coming to my place and treating me like I'm invisible (T's Dad and in-laws barely acknowledged me; D's former owner didn't bother to call me when she visited.)  Maybe that is what's the crux of all of this.  My personal space.  My peace and quiet.  My joy.  I was out of town on Friday and Saturday for a course, I went out on Thursday night to get the boys ready and by Saturday night, I felt like I HAD to get out there to check on them before I could go home and go to bed.  It was pitch dark and I could barely see what was there ... but once I saw them petted them, smelled them, said "Hi guys", my world was right again.

There.  That's the end.  It was *much* longer than I expected but my rant is finished ... for now anyway.

The Symbolic Facial

So I am finally getting around to using this gift certificate for a facial that I got last Christmas from my employer.  The other part of the package was 2 tickets to the show, "Stomp", which played here earlier this year (a very enjoyable show!)

Part of the reason this certificate has stayed magnetted to my fridge this long is its kind of been a sore point for me.  Symbolic.  If it was a Christmas gift, it was a nice gesture ... but what happened to my bonus?  If this was meant to be my bonus, a thank you for all the hard work, dedication, contribution to the success of the company throughout the year, we appreciate everything you do ... let me count the ways that this gift/bonus is insulting:

They basically gave us a Christmas 'bonus' ... and then spent it on our behalf.  Now "Stomp" was absolutely fantastic so I don't want to take away from that but I would prefer to decide where and how to spend my 'bonus', thank you very much.  Cash is better.  One colleague couldn't attend the performance so he basically gave away his 'bonus'.  Another colleague gets massive migraine headaches so loud pounding noise for 2 hours just doesn't work for her; her 'bonus' went unused.  The one co-worker that I would really rather not associate with outside of office hours (we'll call him "Asshat") DID attend so as a social event, it was rather uninspiring.

I worked hard for that company. I brought a lot of expertise and professionalism to that office. I filled in the gaps whenever I was asked to. I put up with a lot of silliness and a lot of that had to do with "Asshat".  I was getting paid next to nothing (only slightly more than Asshat as I found out later), especially for what was supposedly a "managerial" role.  I suspect the total dollar amount of this 'bonus' was less than $200, cheaper than if they were to dole out real bonuses, you know based on work performance, seniority and contribution to the financial success of the company.  It seems to me they "cheaped out".  Nice!

We all received the exact same 'bonus' (as far as I know).  So pretty sure I got the exact same "thank you for your contribution and loyal service" as Asshat ... even though I have +24 years of experience compared to his 1.5 years; even though I did my own job plus his job when he was on my team because he wasn't capable, the deadlines don't change and the buck stops with whoever is running the project; even though he had a really poor attitude and had received many complaints from colleagues and reprimands from all levels of upper management; even though I presented numerous examples of his ineptitude and stupidity to my supervisor (who agreed with my assessment of it but couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it.)  In spite of all that, apparently Asshat and I were worthy of the same level of 'thank you'.

Things like raises, bonuses, updating our software, buying office supplies were generally met with resistance.  When faced with the (expensive) prospect of buying one more licenced seat of (necessary) software for a new hire, the CFO had the gall to say, "You all need to work harder so we can afford this!" Um, what?!  I believe this was said in jest ... but it was in very poor taste to say such a thing to the very people who were holding the place together!  I said (with my inside voice), "I know how you can free up one seat right now and it won't cost you a thing; it will actually save you money".  Had I actually said that (out loud), she would have known that I was talking about Asshat.  Get rid of him and give his spot to the new guy who can only be an improvement.  Problem solved.  And while you're at it, take his salary, divide it up among the rest of us who are actually doing something productive and voila, bonuses for those who deserve it!

And one final albeit minor gripe: I am really not a "go to the spa, get a facial" kind of person.  Not sure how they thought this would be a good gift for me (other than the fact that I am female).

Am I being petty for expecting a bonus?  Maybe.  Am I being unreasonable for expecting to be treated according to the value I brought to the job?  Definitely not.  I was told on numerous occasions how happy they were that I was there but it kinda feels like that was really just lip service.  As Evidenced by the 'bonus'.

I left that job 6 months ago but this is still a bit raw for me.  I decided I better at least use the certificate since I have it and it won't cost me anything.  At the very least, it will free up a fridge magnet.

Cash and Companions and Herd Dynamics

When I first moved Cash from his wonderful home with a herd of 6 or 7 other geldings to the solitude of the acreage, I was concerned that he would be unhappy.  I contemplated this for months before moving him but decided to do it anyway, maybe he would be OK with being alone.  He was NOT OK with being alone!  By about day 4, he was fed up and let me know as much by running, grunting, bucking, grunting, kicking, more grunting ... just generally carrying on like a madman.  I was a bit concerned for his safety actually, thought he might try to climb the fence out of desperation so I kept him confined in his pen which made him even more crotchety.

As luck would have it, my niece was going on holidays at about that time and I was asked to look after her horse while they were away.  So Cash was reunited with his old partner in crime, Benji, and boy, was he excited!  It took all of 5 seconds for them to remember each other.  Then Cash took a look around, realized he was now in the open pasture, galloped full speed to the west, realized "oops!" there's a fence in the way, BRAKES BRAKES!!!  Unfortunately for Cash, it had rained the night before and the grass was super slippery ... he left skid marks in the grass for about 30 feet right up to the fence!  Yikes!  But he got stopped in time and without missing a beat, spun around, ran off in the other direction and hasn't looked back since.  My niece and her family returned from vacation and dove straight into harvest so Benji has stayed with Cash for a bit longer than intended ... but they're not complaining!

About 2 weeks ago, I was contacted by someone looking to board a horse in this area.  She came out to have a look, she seemed nice, she liked the place.  So now her gelding has joined the herd.  And I'm kind of excited to have someone to ride with!

This is Doc ...

So the million dollar question was who will be the alpha?  No matter where Benji goes, he is always in charge.  No debate. At their old boarding farm, Cash was Benji's right-hand man and when Benji left, Cash assumed the role of head honcho, had a pretty big head about it actually!  The word on Doc when I knew he was coming is that he is a bit of a big man on campus.  So, three rather dominant horses in the same pasture.  For a bit I wondered what I had gotten myself into!  But Google reassured me that with a logical plan and some supervision, the herd will sort themselves out.

So for the first day, Doc was alone in the pen while Cash and Benji roamed free.  Doc wasn't happy but put some hay in front of his face and he seems to forget his worries. 

The second day, Benji was in solitary confinement while Cash (the less dominant of the two) and Doc got acquainted.  Benji wasn't happy but Cash and Doc seemed to come to an understanding fairly quickly: Doc is in charge, Cash was OK with that. 

Today, Benji got to rejoin the group, I wasn't quite sure how that would shake out since Doc's true colours are starting to show.  There was some kicking and squealing and pinned ears with Cash as the "buffer" in the middle but it wasn't long before they trotted off to the far end of the pasture to graze for the day.  Last I checked, there was peace.

I'll probably be repeating this process again next week when I bring home my new horse, Cruize.  I am quite excited about it!  I believe that Cruize is quite passive and won't challenge the leaders so the transition will (hopefully!) be easier.  My belief/hope is that Cruize will be easier to ride than Cash  and will serve as a confidence booster which will help me work with Cash more effectively.  And he's just a beautiful horse in his own right that I expect I will enjoy having.

Overall, I am enjoying the herd quite a bit.  I drive out there at least once a day to check on them, take care of their needs, say hello, mess around with them if I have time.  Cash, being my favourite, is loving the attention and his big attitude is coming back down to a manageable size and his friendly goofy personality is coming back.

And just one last funny picture: Lilly the contortionist.  She was being a nut case and I was trying to work so I confined her to her crate for the day.  When I found her this way I literally checked if she was dead or alive or what!  Turns out she was just napping ... and perhaps a little bit of protest at being crated.  Phew!  That's my silly Lilly hehe.

 

The experimental "time audit"

“Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don’t rent them out to tomorrow. Do you know what you’re doing when you spend a moment wondering how things are going to turn out with Perry?

You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and that today you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday. Some of those moments may have had wonderful things in store for you, but now you’ll never know.” -Jerry Spinelli-

 

So I've been doing a little experiment this week that I’ve dubbed a "time audit".  Basically I have kept track of every minute of my day to see where exactly I spend all my time.   I don't have all that much on my plate these days and yet I have a perpetual laundry list of things to do (including the laundry!), I never seem to get any of those things done, they pile up, I get tired, the list remains long and overwhelming.  I just don't seem to have the time.

Or do I???

This time-tracking experiment has been a bit of an eye opener.  Only took a couple days to see a pattern developing and its one that I'm not terribly proud of: I waste A LOT of time. I'm a procrastinator.  I'm lazy.  I lack focus. I sleep far more than the average person and I work far less than my bank account requires (the subject of another "audit" and a blog post for another day.)  I was already aware of some of these bad habits but the surprising part was how much time all those less-than-productive activities consume in a week!  And how little time I actually spend on the things that make me happier and healthier.

“Dost thou love life?  Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.”- Benjamin Franklin -

In my younger days I worked a full-time job (plus OT when there were deadlines, which was pretty much all the time), took University night classes, played volleyball 2 or 3 nights a week (plus tournaments/parties on weekend), went on the occasional date, had a decent social life and for the most part, nothing was suffering too drastically.  Fast forward 20 years ... not so much ambition these days.   I'll save the pity party for another time because pity-parties are in the less-than-productive waste-of-time category ... the exact thing I am trying to banish.

“She worked her toes into the sand, feeling the tiny delicious pain of the friction of tiny chips of silicon against the tender flesh between her toes. That's life. It hurts, it's dirty, and it feels very, very good.” - Orson Scott Card -

Ironically, on one if my aimless YouTube surfing sessions a few months ago, I came across this video about proficiency of a new skill in 20 hours rather than the oft quoted 10,000 hours to master it and just yesterday I watched this  one about language learning.  I am a bit of a learning junkie (luv the TED talks ... but they're a double edged sword for chronic procrastinators like me!) so the idea that I could become proficient at something in 20 hours is kind of novel and exciting ... but who has that kind of time???  Turns out that I have at least that much time!  Every week!  The time audit spreadsheet says so!

“We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.” - Maya Angelou -

One of my many "to-do" lists is my "Life's to-do list" (aka a bucket list) and one of the items on that list is to "become a polyglot".  I've always felt a bit sheepish that I am not fluent (or even conversant ... or even anything) in our other official language.  I've signed up for Spanish classes several times but the only phrase that stuck in my little brain was, "dos cerveza por favor!"  I took Arabic language classes when I lived in the UAE and although I spent far more than 20 hours (more like twice a week for an entire year!) I was barely an advanced beginner.  And despite my best intentions to continue on with my Arabic learning, its pretty much gone.  So when I saw this little gem at the library yesterday, I had a light bulb moment:

My next experiment: learn French.  And at the same time, channel all that time spent (wasted!) into something I can be proud of.  So je parle français in 20 hours or less? Mais non ... but its worth the time and effort to try!

 

“You're only given a little spark of madness.  You mustn't lose it.” - Robin Williams-

Footnote: I haven't yet decided what category blogging falls into yet :-( For now, I'm calling it "recreation".

Assorted pictures of the creatures

... and a test of uploading pics from my phone

 Deisel and Lilly chillin' on the cat bed.

 Cash is my new best friend, follows me around when I'm doing chores! Kind of a big suck for luv these days.

He's just checking if the grass is greener on that side haha

Kitty has two beds, access to my big queen-sized bed, a perch by the window and even her very own office chair ... and yet she chooses to snooze in a cardboard box?!

No pictures of Cruize, Stache or Snuggles yet.

MSAR Photos

I managed to steal a few pictures from the article in the Medicine Hat News about our MSAR ride on Tuesday. 

These are the only two that I am in (I think? Kinda hard to tell, its very far away):

That's Cash and I on the right (I think I remember when that photo was taken.)  As I said, the scenery from that trail is awesome, we were right along the South Saskatchewan river.

Cash and I are second from the left, I can tell because we are way taller than everyone else! haha

With a little bit of breathing room since the "run-away Cash" incident, I think it is the right thing for me to bow out of the group until I am a better rider and Cash is a more seasoned horse.  I would rather leave by my own decision than put the organizers in the uncomfortable position of having to ask.  Hopefully I can still be on good terms with the program and the door will be open for me to rejoin when I am better prepared.  I may still volunteer to do other things for the group (I can scoop poop with the best of 'em!)

Mounted Search and Rescue (mis)adventures

I have been a volunteer with SEASAR (South-Eastern Search and Rescue) for the past 2 years and it is a very worthy organization to donate time and energy to.  I have learned so much from the training and from other members on a whole range of skills that I never would have attempted otherwise (for example: who knew that knot tying would be so difficult!)  Luckily we don't get many call-outs for actual searches so we mostly do training, community service, fundraising and the occasional mock search to stay ready.  This year is the first year for a mounted/equine search and rescue team so naturally, being the aspiring 'horse whisperer' that I fancy myself to be, I want to be involved!

Last night was the first ride I have been able to attend with my gelding, Cash.  He and I had a little disagreement last year in which I ended up in the dirt and since then I have been slowly trying to regain my confidence.  Its coming but its nerve wracking at times and frankly, I get intimidated by him more easily now and he knows it / plays it!  We did attend the "bomb-proofing" session where I lead him through the obstacles and the "scary stuff", he did very well at that! 

This ride was an eye opener in some good ways and in some not so good ways:

Good:  I left in plenty of time so I wouldn't have to be rushed.  I was quite nervous about the whole thing, wasn't sure I should be doing it.

Not so good: As it turned out, I did not arrive early.

Good: Cash was awesome to catch when I went to get him.  He likes to play the "you can't catch me" game.  But when I take away his "gelding shield" the game is less fun and he submits much more easily.

Good: I am getting more organized for these outings regarding the trailer, what tack I need, what my search pack needs, driving with a trailer in tow and not panicking anytime I need to back it up.

Not so good: We were conducting our mock-search excercise on a public trail and a guy on a bike came up behind us quite quickly and was not terribly sensitive to the horses.

Good: I couldn't get Cash turned to face the biker quick enough and he spooked a bit as the guy whizzed past.  But it was not a huge spook, just a hop and some fancy footwork.  Since I knew it was coming, it was manageable.  We also passed dogs and a lawn mower and crossed a wooden foot bridge, he wasn't afraid of those.

Not so good: Long story short, my saddle was not placed correctly and when I tried to dismount on the trail towards the end of the ride, he hopped sideways (which is unusual for him.)  Instead of heeding the warning, I tried again to dismount but this time I was nearly off when he hopped and I fell the rest of the way.

Good: I now know the consequences of poor saddle placement and will be more careful of this in the future!  And I wasn't hurt ... except for my pride.

Bad: After I came off, Cash took off and was not about to be retrieved easily (his favorite game!) which was really a dangerous situation for the other riders.  Luckily some of them managed to corner him (albeit along a barbed wire fence!  It was a bit hairy!) and I was able to get him back under control.  We were nearly back at the campground where we started so I elected to walk him the rest of the way.  The reason I was dismounting was to avoid what I perceived to be a dangerous situation coming up ahead and instead I caused an even bigger one :-(  I was embarrassed and humbled but it was a valuable "teachable moment"!

The situation I was trying to avoid was two Arabians in a pasture right next to the trail.  I suspect they were stallions because they were absolutely gorgeous animals and on our first pass, Cash spotted them from a long way off and was extremely interested to the point where he was acting kind of studly himself, arching his neck, prancing.  Cash can be dominant but as far as I know he is properly gelded.  I got off and walked him past the Arabians and on the way back, I was trying to be proactive and get off again to avoid a 'confrontation'.

Good: Of all the places that could have happened, that was probably the best one could hope for.

Good: The run-away Cash incident would have been much worse if I had been using split reins.  Thankfully I had decided to use my closed reins.

Not so good: I had my truck and trailer keys on me and my cell phone in my back pocket.  In hindsight, that was really dumb!

Good: My phone stayed in my pocket (although it started ringing at the exact moment I was running after my runaway steed!)  Another astute rider happened to see my keys laying on the ground (Phew!  I kinda need those!)

Good:  I feel like I made the right judgement call by dismounting when I felt trouble was looming.  I probably looked like a loser walking so much but I honestly think it is better to do that than to risk an accident (even though that particular incident didn't turn out that way.)

Good: Cash did not poop on the trail :-)  Since we were in a public area, we had one gracious volunteer following us on the mountain bike who was scooping up behind us.  She deserves a medal for that sh!tty task!

Not so good: Cash has decided he doesn't like to load into the trailer again. 

Good: Another SAR member asked if she could work with him to get him loaded for the ride home (cuz I wasn't yet winning that battle!)  I was a little skeptical and rattled and tired by that point but I begrudgingly handed him over.  She was amazing!  I learned so much just watching her in those few minutes and I have to say, once he was securely tied off inside, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, everything else from then on was easy.  I was very thankful and a little sheepish for my resistance to letting her try.  I may have another option for riding instructor now, she obviously knows a thing or two and is eager to share!

Neutral: My super light synthetic saddle doesn't fit Cash.  Not even close :-(

Good: My knees sometimes hurt when I am in my big clunky roping saddle for too long.  Yesterday that wasn't the case (possibly because I got off and walked quite a bit.)

Good: Overall this training ride (mini-mock search) was really well organized ... with the exception of some ambiguous wording in the email that sent some of us to the wrong starting point.  Once that was sorted out, everyone seemed to enjoy it and I got to know a few more of the other members.  For the most part the other riders were patient and supportive with this "newbie".

Good: For as much (or as little) as Cash has been ridden this year, he actually did pretty well.  I am quite sure that my nervousness was making him nervous.  There was a lot of new stuff, people, horses, etc. and his reactiveness was not over the top (except when we first encountered the Arabians.)

Harsh reality: I am still too green to be a productive mounted search and rescue team member.  And Cash's natural tendency is to be antsy and forward so I'm not sure he will be the best candidate for MSAR.

Good: I now have a much better idea of what kinds of things I/we need to work on in order to make the grade and what the expectations are for this group.   

Good: The weather was fantastic!  The mosquitoes were minimal.  The views from that trail are spectacular (I did not take pictures but the SEASAR website might have some I can use).

I debated about not going last night, it is foolish to take a horse that's hardly been ridden into that situation. But another member convinced me to give it a try, take it slow, see how it goes.  Cash and I went on several rides last summer and he was pretty good on those so I know he has done them before and done OK.  I'm glad I went and my colleague was really good about looking out for me as best she could!  I learned so much and I challenged myself which I have not done much of lately! But I will have to see how much progress we make between now and the next training ride and then decide if we are ready for more challenges (assuming we are not asked to not come back.)  Although the training rides are a good place to learn, I felt I might have put the other riders in more danger than I intended.

I was pretty calm and 'together' through the whole evening, I didn't show my nerves and anxiety, not even to myself.  But on the drive home by myself in the dark, all the stress that I had obviously been holding in just came bursting through.  I was tired and humbled and weepy ... but not sad.  I had succeeded in getting out there and doing it, for whatever that's worth.

Blast from the past ... again.

As per my last post ... from 2 years ago :-( ... still not much blog-worthy stuff happening.  Life is just coasting along.  But I was inspired to revisit my blog after reading another blog by someone on a horse forum I sometimes follow.  It was interesting and I decided maybe I will start putting up some pictures and commentary about my guy(s).  I decided that I am going to start taking my riding more seriously so I'm getting set up to commit the time and focus to developing their skills and my own.  Time will tell how this all works out.

Cash is an 11yo Appendix and I've owned him for about a year and a half.  He's a good horse but hasn't gotten the attention he needs/deserves and might be a bit much for me.  He threw me off last summer (or more accurately, he took some spirited hops that I wasn't expecting and I lost my balance and fell off) and I have been very tentative since then which is kind of an irrational response to one little incident more than a year ago.  I moved him to my acreage last week so we can start to bond better (oh yeah, I have my Dad's acreage now too! Love it!)  His initial few days were quite unsettling since he was alone and wasn't happy about that but his old partner in crime (Benji) is with him temporarily and life is good again.

Cruize is an 8yo registered thoroughbred that I just bought last week.  He has a nice calm disposition and is very people-friendly; he was easy to ride although I did not 'test' him as vigorously as I probably should have.  But sometimes ya just have a 'feeling' that its right.  I will be taking lessons on him for the next little while until he's more refreshed and I believe he will be a keeper.  I think he will be a good match personality wise for Cash too (the main reason I bought another).  And he's absolutely gorgeous!

In reading back through previous posts, I was sad to see my videos of Thor.  My big buddy died in June of 2012.  I was heart broken, still am.  But there is nothing I can do (or could have done) about it so life has moved on. I'll write more about that some other time.  I have a new puppy, Lilly, a Rottie-bullmastiff(?) cross who is almost a year and a half old and 2 months ago I adopted a 6yo old boxer named Diesel.  Lilly is a jokester and a challenging puppy but she's turning out alright.  Diesel turning out to be the quietest, most loving boxer you could ask for as long as he gets a proper introduction.

And there's also Kitty, my SPCA heart-cat.  I saw her in Petsmart and she had the saddest look in her eyes.  So I brought her home.  She has proven to be the most amazing creature, I am so happy she's here ... but I don't wander past the adoption center in the pet stores anymore.  Its too heart wrenching and I can't save them all.

And just to be fair to all my creatures, there are two "acreage cats", Stache and Snuggles.  Their job will be rodent control and from what I hear, they are exceptionally good at it!  I have been stalling with moving them from their current home because I am apprehensive about the coyotes at the acreage so I'm trying to make it as safe as possible for them.  But at some point I'll have to take the chance.

And that's it.  My pet-family is complete.  Not to worry, there are PLENTY of pictures and videos of these two jokers, I'm sure a few will make it into the blog at some point (they have completely taken over my Facebook page!)

Blast from the past

Its been more than 2 years since I moved from UAE back to Canada.  I haven't posted much in that time cuz frankly, there's not much going on ... at least not "blog-worthy" stuff.  But I might start blogging about some of the more mundane goings-on just to keep it up until the next to-do/bucket list item materializes and I can write more compelling posts.

So what have I been doing with all my time -- mundane or otherwise?  I am working part time at Original Joe's (doesn't pay much but its fun, gets me out of the house), taking some courses through the Safety Codes Council, yard work at our house in the 'Hat, teaching Thor some new tricks, ran the Rattler Run 10K (and didn't finish last in my category .. SUCCESS!), swimming with the Alberta Marlins Aquatic Club (when my schedule permits which is far less than I'd like), chillaxin' with my nieces and nephew (horse back riding, tennis, shopping, voice lessons, Tino's drive-in) and played a volleyball tournament with the Sonic Cougars back in March (it was GREAT to get back out on the court!!!).  I joined the South-east Alberta Search and Rescue Association (SEASAR) in which training starts this weekend, I'm excited to start doing some volunteerism again, seems like a worthy cause and an interesting experience.

Thor has grown a bit since the videos I last posted.  He is a year and 9 months old now and is about a hundred pounds of bouncy, playful goofy-ness.  He has an injured(?) leg though which has become a big concern.  Poor guy wants to play play play, his mind says yes yes yes but his body says no no no. I hired a canine massage therapist (yes, I actually paid someone to "pet" my dog!) which seemed to help but didn't solve the problem.  We will be going to the vet for the third time this afternoon, this time to take some xrays to hopefully find the cause and get him healthy again. 

I haven't been to Calgary for a while and have sorely neglected my peeps there :-(  I'm going to try and rectify that this summer though because I shore do miss everyone.  I'm still in touch with some of my Dubai friends through Facebook and I miss all of them too.

A co-worker at OJ's just returned from a 10 day scuba trip in Roatan, Honduras. Her parents own/operate a dive shop there. I was soooooo envious, I wanted to hop on a plane immediately with BCD and fins in tow.

Sweetie has been talking about going to Panama lately.  That one has always been on my "to do" list as a place to experience.  And I've tried (unsuccessfully) to learn Spanish a few times already.  Perhaps I will get out my "Lonely Planet" and my passport.

So many exciting things to do, so little time to do it ... I resolve from this moment on that "mundane" is no longer satisfactory!!!

Thor's Squeaky Hiccups

Thor Playing

Introducing Thor

We got a puppy yesterday.  He's a boxer-bullmastiff cross and he is adorable!  He's currently 9 and a half weeks and is just about 20 pounds.


Untitled from Penella Zollner on Vimeo.


The breeder was the owner of both the parent dogs.  The Dad is beautiful fawn boxer and the Mom is a brindle bullmastiff.  Both are average size for their respective breeds and we think Thor will probably top out at about 100 pounds.  Since he will be a big guy, we're enrolling in "puppy school" as soon as possible!

We had a couple of 'piddles and piles' on the floor last night and a lot of barking/whining/crying/howling/groaning/gnashing of teeth all night for his first night away from home; poor Sweetie was very tired this morning when he got up for work (as you can tell in the video, Thor's bark is pretty high pitched and sharp and he's surprisingly persistent!  Even I have a hard time sleeping through that). But that will only last a few days until he gets accustomed to his new crate (insha'allah!) and today we have had several successful trips outside.

He is definitely a 'people' dog which the breeder told us and that's part of the reason we chose him.  He follows me around the house and when I work in my office, he snuggles as close to my feet as he can and goes to sleep.  He wants to play with Jaz in the worst way but Jaz hasn't bought in to the whole 'puppy' thing yet.  She has made it abundantly clear who's the boss around here and fortunately Thor seems to respect that.  Give her a few days, she'll come 'round.

Creature Spotting: Moose in our yard

OK, I promise I will not blog about the moose anymore after this.  But they are pretty cool to watch when I'm safely tucked away in my living room!  Lately we have been seeing the same mama moose and her baby in the pasture behind our trailer.  They have become frequent visitors in our yard, as was the case the past 2 mornings.  Yesterday, they headed for the cover of the forest before it was light enough to get any video but this morning they were a little more sociable.  We watched them for more than 20 minutes before they moved on ... and even then they were in no big hurry to get back to the bush.


Moose in the Yard from Penella Zollner on Vimeo.


P.S.  The quality of the video is poor because of this stoopid video editing software.  It really sucks.  Don't buy Panasonic!

My Birthday in Montreal

For my birthday, Sweetie took me to Montreal.  I have not been there before and I found it to be a very lovely city, definitely a place I would return.  And surprisingly, and in spite of the myriad of taxes (GST, PST, HST, etc), it was a relatively inexpensive weekend.

More Moose (mooses? meese?)

Throughout the entire summer, we had a grand total of 2 moose sightings: once, a cow and her calf darted off into the trees before we could even get a look at them and another time we spotted a bull in the pond at the edge of the trees.  He headed towards the Belgian horses who were in the same fence but thought better of it when he realized there were two of them and, pound for pound, either one of them could have given him a run for his money.  He trotted off in the other direction over the hill and was gone.

Within the last 2 weeks, the moose seem to have come out of hiding.  They're everywhere!  

Today I caught a glimpse of the 3 'loitering' moose that Sweetie warned me about (and "moose" is the correct plural for it.)  These guy/gals (a bull and 2 cows) have been hanging around almost every day about a kilometer from our place and very near to where I had my 'close encounter' last week.  Sweetie sees them almost every day when he goes to work early in the morning but normally I don't see them cuz I don't normally 'do' early.  However, today they were still out and about when I returned home from a mid-morning trip into town so I took a few pix with my crackberry (sorry about the poor quality).

As well, early this morning (OK, sometimes I do get up early), there were 2 more moose -- a cow and calf -- chowing down in the pasture just across the fence from our trailer.

Like I said they are fascinating to watch ... from a distance.

What is the plural for "moose"???

It's rut season and we live in the wilderness.  As such, the wildlife are out and about, mating and getting ready for winter.  We live only a few minutes out of town and a few kilometers from the Wapiti River valley so we see/hear wild creatures in this area all the time which is part of the charm of living here.  Deer, coyotes, fox and rabbits are all pretty common -- but moose are a different story.  They are amazing animals!  Massive and majestic.  Fascinating to watch on the very rare occasion that one has emerged from the forest behind our property.  One would think that these shy, seemingly docile creatures are harmless ... not so!  Apparently, an encounter with a moose is more dangerous than an encounter with a bear, especially during calving season, mating season and when dogs are involved.

Puppy needs to go out every morning to take care of business.  Usually I take her for a walk up and down our relatively quiet country road for her morning constitution but if we're in a hurry (or if we are feeling lazy), she gets a short sprint to her second favorite pee-spot near the trailer.  Normally she is on the leash as she is a bit unpredictable.  For a small dog with short legs, she can sure move and she's got big dog attitude! More than once, Sweetie has had to do the 50-yard dash to stop her from chasing the neighbor's black lab all the way back to his own porch.

One morning just before Thanksgiving, Sweetie took a turn for puppy's morning business and it was to be a short jaunt to the alternate pee-spot (while I stayed warmly snugged up in bed).  When they returned, an ashen Sweetie woke me up, called me over to the window and showed me a big bull moose trotting across the yard!  Apparently, Sweetie and puppy went dashing out the front door and nearly ran into the bull who was standing RIGHT at the end of our trailer directly in the path to the pee-spot.  A startled Sweetie stepped behind a tree in case the startled bull decided to charge, then backpedaled to the safety of the trailer.  Mr Bull did not charge and instead, hopped the barbed wire fence and headed off towards the forest from whence he came.  Later, on his way to work, Sweetie returned to warn me that another 3 moose were loitering up the road where I usually take puppy for her extended morning walk.

We also take Puppy for walks along the road for her evening constitution and our usual evening route takes us in the other direction to the end of the road.  Its a rather secluded spot and judging by the evidence, its sometimes a hang-out for crack-heads, amorous couples and people too lazy or too cheap to take their garbage to the dump.

On one of our evening walks this past weekend, we noticed a garbage can and a couple of garbage bags at the end of the road.  Sweetie investigated the contents of the bags and discovered that at least one moose in the area had most likely found himself at the wrong end of a hunting rifle.  It was a grim walk home.

The following morning, puppy was again needing her daily walk (which she very much looks forward to) and as usual, I bundled up for the morning chill and hooked her to the leash.  As soon as I opened the front door I could hear howling coyotes.  They were surprisingly loud but since it was coming from the direction of our previous day's 'discovery', I surmised that they were probably far enough away and probably preoccupied with their "find"; a walk down the road in the other direction was probably safe.  Puppy did not agree.  She wanted no part of it and no amount of coaxing would get her any further than the end of our driveway.  Apparently her 'big dog' attitude does not extend to howling coyotes.

In fact, this was not the first time we've encountered coyotes nearby.  One evening last week, I decided to take puppy to the end of the road instead of our usual route in the other direction because frankly, the usual route was getting boring.  I don't often walk that way by myself.  Call me chicken but there is a stretch of road that is flanked on both sides by dense trees which is a bit disconcerting and at the very end, there are trees on 3 sides with swamp beyond that.  Puppy and I were just past the last driveway when suddenly, a coyote started 'yipping' from just out of sight.  And then another.  And then their comrade chimed in from the other side of the road.  I have read that several coyotes barking at the same time can sound like many more than there actually are ... but wow!  It sounded  like a whole pack was surrounding us!  We turned around without finishing puppy's business and hurriedly walked (if you run, they'll think you're prey!) home where I immediately changed my underwear.

Last night, puppy ate an especially big supper and this morning, she really needed to go out.  Unfortunately at 7:30am it is still very dark out and after our close encounter with the coyotes, I am wary of going out in less than broad-daylight conditions.  However, puppy sat by the door grunting relentlessly and I decided we would probably be OK if we stuck to the road more traveled.

The first 10 minutes of our walk was uneventful.  Puppy did her usual thing -- sniffing about, marking territory and a much needed crap.  But then I saw it ... and luckily I saw it!  It was very dim but just across the ditch between some trees, a big dark 'blob'.  Not a shadow, shadows don't move.  There are no cattle, horses or donkeys there and it was too big to be a deer.  It is also very near where Sweetie warned me of the 3 loitering moose a few days ago ... so I'm pretty sure the 'blob' could only have been a moose. 

Like I said, I find them fascinating and I love to watch them from afar and from the safety and comfort of my living room.  It is a much different story when I am out in the wide open and well within "chase and trample" range (Update: I paced off the distance the next day ... in broad daylight of course: less than 50 paces!  And there were indeed moose tracks on the road where I had been).  This time I ran full tilt!  A quick peek over my shoulder showed the 'blob' was on the road behind us but luckily it was not in pursuit and a passing car scared it back into the trees. 

Yup, one more pair of gaunchies for the laundry.

Life at the Acerage

She Blowed Up Real Good!
Sweetie and the puppy were away for the weekend and I was by myself for a few days.  Since I am now a 'consultant' working from home, I was diligently working away at my desk when all of a sudden there was loud BOOPH!!!! that shook the trailer!   Yikes!  What the H-E-double hockey sticks was THAT?!  I nearly $%!# my pants!

Turns out the neighbors were taking advantage of the soggy weather to burn a wood/junk pile behind our trailer. A little gasoline and a match ... she blowed up real good!


Our Neighbors the Belgians
The horses next door are a team of Belgian heavy horses whom I have affectionately named "Blondie" and "the Other One" (don't know their real names so I just made that up).  They are nearly identical looking and were standing in a nearly identical pose.

The quality of the picture is poor because I decided to take it through the window.  Why?  Cuz Blondie and Other One are fickle and I knew that once I opened the door and snapped the the camera, they would move and ruin their perfect pose.  And I was right.

Whatchulookin'at???

We're outta here!

When Nature Calls 
So I figgered I got some OK shots of the Belgians (even though they moved) and was about to leave my photographic perch when when I noticed this guy about 50 meters from the trailer ...

I don't think he saw me at first but when he did, he changed course and headed off in the other direction ... but not before taking care of some 'business' first.

(Lucky for him it was me with the camera and not Sweetie with the cross-bow!)


Quiet As A Mouse
Sweetie got up early one morning last week to head to the office.  He was so kind to be very quiet so as not to awake me.  In fact, he was SO quiet that the resident mouse didn't notice him either!  The brave little guy was busy snooping around the kitchen for crumbs and doing whatever else brave little mice do (like poo on the counter).  Sweetie was pretty disgusted by this.  He went into full-blown anti-rodent mode: mouse traps, Irish Spring soap, heavy duty rubber gloves and industrial strength Lysol by the gallon!

Friday evening I was settling in for the night when I heard it: THWAP!!! ... scuffle scuffle scuffle ... silence.  Apparently the lure of peanut butter was too much for the little fella and it proved to be fatal.  As I mentioned, Sweetie was away all weekend so I had to do the dirty deed and dispose of it (I briefly pondered leaving it for Sweetie to do but that would have meant seeing those bulgy eyes and flat head for several more days.  Besides, Sweetie hates rodents of all types so I probably would have had to deal with it anyway).

Sorry, no photos to go along with the 'mouse' story cuz that would just be grim.

Jaz and her playmates

Sweetie's puppy LOVES the horses that live in the fence next to us.  She is always looking for them and will sit and watch them for hours if we let her.  And it seems that the horses kinda like her too; when they see her near the fence, they will saunter over and have a nose-to-nose chat.  They're not that interested in us though unless we have something for them (such as lush green grass from our side of the fence since their side has been grazed to the ground.)

Jaz and her playmates

Drama at the acerage: Its a bird ... its a plane ... no wait, its a bird!!!

Sweetie left his truck door open for less than a minute, ran in the house to grab his wallet, ran back outside ... low and behold, he's got a passenger haha!

Its a bird ... its a plane ... no wait, its a bird!!! from Penella Zollner on Vimeo.

Change is good? Not always!

Rant alert!!!

I have taken tons of video over the last 2 years since I got my camera and in the past it was pretty easy to upload video clips directly to my blog (editing with the [bleeping] Panasonic/Sony software is another story and the subject of a future rant). I kinda like making "mini-movies" with my camera and over the months, I've created a few that I'd like to share here.

At some point, Blogger decided to "improve" things and changed the way videos are uploaded.  I prefer to upload my clips directly to my blog (the other method is via You Tube) but I have had no success uploading since this change.  Nuttin'.  Zero.  Zip.  Nada.  Grrrr!  For whatever reason, the blogger FAQ and help sections have not caught up with the 'improvements'.  I spent more than a few hours in this dead end loop:

upload video clip
"failed to upload" error message
Google it to find a solution
upload again, different file format
error message
Google it again, different search term
upload
error
Google
upload
error
beat my head against a wall
Google ...

This morning I conceded defeat ... partly.  I discovered a website called "vimeo" which is like You Tube but geared towards professionals, artists and shmoes like me who prefer a respectful and supportive community (ever read some of the comments posted on You Tube?  Nuff said).  I'm going to attempt to upload my mini-movies there and link to them here and with any luck, I'll have some fresh new content!!

Here goes ...