This from a collegue here ...

REAL FACTS TO BEAR WITH, IF DRIVING IN DUBAI
1. If your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and get a new one.

2. If you are in Rashidiya and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.

3. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dubai has its own version of traffic rules, which can be summarized as "Hold on and pray!"

4. If it is your priority to cross, forget it and wait.

5. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dubai. Everyone drives like that.

6. When you plan to get a new car, ask first about its acceleration from 80 to 160 Km/h (recommended: 3 seconds). Very important if you frequently use the Emirates Road.

7. All directions start with Sheikh Zayed Road, which has no beginning and no end.

8. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM to 1:00 PM. The evening rush hour is from 1:00 PM to 10:00 PM.

9. Thursday's rush hour starts Wednesday evening. (For you North-Americans, Friday is the holy day here so Thursday is like our Friday. It's a good deal until you have to resume the regular work week on Sunday morning).

10. If you slow down at a yellow light, you will be knocked behind by another motorist and then, rewarded a white ticket by the Dubai Police.

11. If you are the first one at the intersection, when the light turns green ignore the car honking behind you and count to five to avoid crashing into one of the cars jumping the red light.

12. Construction on all main roads is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment."Sorry for the inconvenience" is an honor for your long-suffering

13. All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in Sharjah !"

14. Car horns are actually toys for Adults.

15. Anyone in a Land Cruiser, Armada, Tahoe, Dodge, BMW or Mercedes with less than 5 digits in their number plate and tinted windows, has the right of way. Fact!

16. If you are driving a Corolla, Sunny, or another small Japanese car, stay on the far right lane. No comment!

17. Most roads mysteriously change names as you cross underneath intersections or bridges.

18. (this one was blank for some reason)

19. A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours, although Sheikh Zayed Road has an un-posted minimum speed of 150 Km/h.

20. (Refer to #18)

21. 18 wheeler trucks are one of the fastest vehicles in Dubai; they can do 120 Km/h on Hatta-Oman Road when fully loaded.

22. The minimum acceptable speed on the Emirates Road is 160 km/h, anything less is considered downright sissy. (Yikes, my new apartment will be down Emirates road!!!)

23. Al Khail Road is Dubai's daily version of NASCAR.

24. Dubai Autodrome has a new extension: The Emirates Road.

25. WELCOME TO DUBAI