This is James Clear, an expert in habits and behavior, not to mention a super-talented presenter. Starting at about 29:15, he talks about priorities and goes through a story about Warren Buffet and his pilot. Essentially, the exercise he spells out goes like this:
1. Write out your top 25 priorities for the next 25 years … or 5 years or whatever timeframe you want and one could break it down into specific aspects of life (career, family, personal finances, etc.)
2. Circle your top 5.
3. Numbers 6 though 25 are your "never do under any circumstance" list.
I thought this would be a very interesting exercise, I think I may be a classic 'multi-prioritizer' (if that's even a word?) I *definitely* have a tendency to get deep in the weeds, particularly when I want to hide from something (which most people will recognize as procrastination.) I have been described as a "linear thinker" and a "dot on the wall" person ... I think that both of those things mean the same thing: I can only focus on one thing at a time. So too many priorities is not great for someone like me.
So I started brainstorming my list of priorities. I chose the next 5 years as my timeline and I did not distinguish among the different areas of life (physical, mental, spiritual, financial, career), just one big list of everything rattling around in my brain today.
And here it is:
Behold the list!
Wow! That's a lotta stuff! I think there might be more than 25 items there??? No wonder I can't focus! There are some things on there that are remnants of past aspirations, some things more suited to my younger self and are not so important to my today-self. Some of these are things that I feel like other people might like from me. Some are just downright frivolous. These things can be erased right now. So long suckas!
Voted Off the Island:
Climb Mount Kilimanjaro: this has been on my radar for a number of years and is still something I will do. Its unlikely to happen in the next 5 years so for now it will be transferred to the 'incubate' list.
Calculus. My University nemesis. I fought with it daily for most of my degree (which I ultimately did not finish) and have never totally given up on mastering that skill. In fact, finishing my University degree has popped into my imagination from time to time. A chance to finish what I started. Put it to bed once and for all. To say I may have lost the battle but won the war. *sigh* This one is relegated to the 'that ship has sailed' list.
Learn to paint. Not even sure where this one comes from? I think I saw in a glossy magazine one time, an artist's studio that I fell in love with. The fanciful idea of sitting for a whole day, just me and my canvas, lost in the colour, the form … ah, that's the life for me. Except its not.
Amateur astronomy: I bought a telescope at an auction sale about a year ago. Don't know how to use it but it would sure be neat to look a the moon and the stars from my little ol' corner of this planet. I'm going to keep the telescope (because it is hours of fun … frugal fun) but I won't be taking out any books from the library or joining any clubs or anything.
Grow my hair long again. Believe it or not, this takes effort. I've known for a long time that I always feel better when I have a good haircut, its kind of a personal rule. I loved my long hair back in the day. I also liked the ease of short hair. But once in a while I get the inkling to go back to having long locks. The problem is to get back to long hair, I need to endure the intolerable 'in-between' phase where it looks and feels crappy all.the.time! Not worth it. I have an appointment for next week to go short again.
Feeling a little bit liberated having released myself from some of these. I feel lighter already! Free-er.
The Next Round of Cuts:
Learn to weld. I have a vision of myself creating giant metal sculptures from bits and bobs and horseshoes and such. I just love that genre art! And it would use up some of the scrap metal that's laying around this place. But alas, begrudgingly, I have to whittle down the list so this must move to 'incubate' status.
Fluent in a second language: I feel pretty strongly that Canadians should make an effort to learn our other official language and make an effort to learn at least a few words of an indigenous language. As well, I was quite proud of my Arabic studies when I lived in Dubai but since I have not kept it up, I am sad to say I have lost most of it. My Arabic dictionary will remain in a bin in the closet … along with my "French for Dummies" and that book of Spanish verb conjugations.
Scuba diving and cross-country skiing: Two activities that I thoroughly enjoy. However, being in a land-locked province where snow exists for a scant few months of the year, its not practical to try and pursue these with any great zeal. Vacation and recreation ideas? Yes. Willing to dedicate time, energy and dollars? No.
Build my heart home and build an indoor riding arena. These ones really pain me to erase, I REALLY want both of these. But the reality is that I can't afford either of them at the moment and in order to get into a position where I can afford them … well, there's a few other things that need to happen first. So more on that later. Besides, there are already 3 other riding arenas within a 5 minute drive of my home and another 3 within 15 minutes. This area is NOT underserved for winter riding options! And I already have an outdoor arena that I don't use as much as I should. So there.
Here's a gratuitous picture of my (latest) heart house:
(Love love love this house! There is a REALLY cool 3D tour of the whole property on the Matterport website … somewhere … but I can't find it now. When I do, I'll post the link. But I digress. Back to the list …)
Be a good volleyball player. This one is like letting go of a little piece of me. My circle of friends for most of my adult life has revolved around volleyball. At one time I wasn't half bad as a player. Many good times. But times change. The volleyball scene in this town is different and I have come to admit that I don't enjoy it much here. My skill level has dropped, this frustrates me. For the last few seasons I have played on two teams, I enjoy the people and the comradery. But dedicating 2 week-nights to an activity that is only marginally fun, I need to rethink that.
This round of cuts required a deep breath, required some letting go. Letting go of some things that, frankly, I don't want to let go of. I am trusting the process and wielding the eraser … but this is not fun anymore.
Choosing A Few Items to Stay:
Just to change it up, I selected a couple of items that are definite keepers. Things that I know are top-5.
Financial Independence on my own terms: I've blogged about this lately and this as a priority is starting to take shape. I am quickly seeing that I am NOT where I thought I was and I need to make some changes (read: frugality!) if I am going to arrive at the 5-year mark and actually be where I want to be. (The "on my own terms" part needs a bit more thoughtful reflection in order to articulate it; the subject of a future post.) The heart house and the riding arena are the carrots at the end of this stick. A very long stick.
This F.I. goal brings a couple of other list items under its umbrella, most noteably, "Be an expert at my job." I like my job. It pays fairly well. Upper management genuinely cares about their people (they emphatically insist that one take their holiday time (all of it!) as time off to rest and rejuvenate.) All that being said, I need to have a 'Plan B', a safety net. And having a job is the lynch pin to achieving 'Plan A' (the F.I. plan.) As such, "Be an expert at my job" is a sub-goal. Writing a book/blog, building my 'Ag-biz', learning to cook, these are also sub-goals -- non-job ways to balance the F.I. equation in my favour. Am I violating Warren Buffet's rule #3? … ummm, probably.
Health, fitness, strength, vitality. Fight ageing. I saw this video several years ago and it inspired me …
I want to be her. Well, maybe not a body-builder per-say … and not too sure about waking up at 2:30am every day … but I like what she is doing for herself. (Come to think of it, my very own Grandma was pretty inspirational into her late-80's!) I want to be in my 70's (or beyond), happy and free, nothing in the world troubling me. In my mind, this is "future-me" … except that "today-me" has not done much of anything to get me on a path to realizing this! A 6-week "cross-fit for dummies" class and a bit of yoga, both things I enjoyed, neither one has converted into a full-time habit. And with that big round birthday that just whizzed past me, this ageing thing is starting to be a real thing.
(Confession: Several things that I scratched off this 'priorities' list … they are not really gone from the list! They're just taking on a different dimension. Triathlons, cross-country skiing, good cooking … these are now "sub-goals" to the larger "fitness and health" goal. Another shameless violation of Buffet's Rule #3.)
Having a good relationship with DM is definitely Top-5. Nuff said. I sometimes have to remind myself to make him a priority, be a better listener, give more than I take, give him credit when its due, give him a hug when he looks like he needs it. I think we are both happy with the way things are right now; I would sure like for that to continue so I need to do my part.
Stripping Away the Layers:
Developing a mindfulness practice has been on my mind for a very long time, at least two decades. I have tried to get on this bus many times but it has never ended up anywhere … or rather, it always seems to end up where it started. My idea of mindfulness as a goal is a bit ill-defined; it encompasses a lot of other list items. If I can improve on and possibly master the skill of mindfulness, SO MANY other things in life will fall into place! Being a good friend, being well-informed and thoughtful, making my home a sanctuary, being tidy and organized … these are all bad habits (and there are more where these came from!) that can be addressed one by one as part of the practice … so not a violation of Rule #3 I say.
I feel pretty strongly about volunteerism. I get a good deal of satisfaction from it. Adventure travel has brought me great life-points in the past. However, as the list winds down, I have to make tough choices. I guess that's the point of the exercise. (The 'incubate' list is getting to be very long!)
So What's Left?
The Final Cut:
Here it is. The list of priorities in for the next 5 years. In order of importance …
In theory this is all I need to think about for the next 60 months. Five simple goals. Five years. They say that people over estimate what they can accomplish in a day and underestimate what they can achieve in a year. We shall see how true that is come year 2024!
Peace.
Peace.
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