The Symbolic Facial

So I am finally getting around to using this gift certificate for a facial that I got last Christmas from my employer.  The other part of the package was 2 tickets to the show, "Stomp", which played here earlier this year (a very enjoyable show!)

Part of the reason this certificate has stayed magnetted to my fridge this long is its kind of been a sore point for me.  Symbolic.  If it was a Christmas gift, it was a nice gesture ... but what happened to my bonus?  If this was meant to be my bonus, a thank you for all the hard work, dedication, contribution to the success of the company throughout the year, we appreciate everything you do ... let me count the ways that this gift/bonus is insulting:

They basically gave us a Christmas 'bonus' ... and then spent it on our behalf.  Now "Stomp" was absolutely fantastic so I don't want to take away from that but I would prefer to decide where and how to spend my 'bonus', thank you very much.  Cash is better.  One colleague couldn't attend the performance so he basically gave away his 'bonus'.  Another colleague gets massive migraine headaches so loud pounding noise for 2 hours just doesn't work for her; her 'bonus' went unused.  The one co-worker that I would really rather not associate with outside of office hours (we'll call him "Asshat") DID attend so as a social event, it was rather uninspiring.

I worked hard for that company. I brought a lot of expertise and professionalism to that office. I filled in the gaps whenever I was asked to. I put up with a lot of silliness and a lot of that had to do with "Asshat".  I was getting paid next to nothing (only slightly more than Asshat as I found out later), especially for what was supposedly a "managerial" role.  I suspect the total dollar amount of this 'bonus' was less than $200, cheaper than if they were to dole out real bonuses, you know based on work performance, seniority and contribution to the financial success of the company.  It seems to me they "cheaped out".  Nice!

We all received the exact same 'bonus' (as far as I know).  So pretty sure I got the exact same "thank you for your contribution and loyal service" as Asshat ... even though I have +24 years of experience compared to his 1.5 years; even though I did my own job plus his job when he was on my team because he wasn't capable, the deadlines don't change and the buck stops with whoever is running the project; even though he had a really poor attitude and had received many complaints from colleagues and reprimands from all levels of upper management; even though I presented numerous examples of his ineptitude and stupidity to my supervisor (who agreed with my assessment of it but couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it.)  In spite of all that, apparently Asshat and I were worthy of the same level of 'thank you'.

Things like raises, bonuses, updating our software, buying office supplies were generally met with resistance.  When faced with the (expensive) prospect of buying one more licenced seat of (necessary) software for a new hire, the CFO had the gall to say, "You all need to work harder so we can afford this!" Um, what?!  I believe this was said in jest ... but it was in very poor taste to say such a thing to the very people who were holding the place together!  I said (with my inside voice), "I know how you can free up one seat right now and it won't cost you a thing; it will actually save you money".  Had I actually said that (out loud), she would have known that I was talking about Asshat.  Get rid of him and give his spot to the new guy who can only be an improvement.  Problem solved.  And while you're at it, take his salary, divide it up among the rest of us who are actually doing something productive and voila, bonuses for those who deserve it!

And one final albeit minor gripe: I am really not a "go to the spa, get a facial" kind of person.  Not sure how they thought this would be a good gift for me (other than the fact that I am female).

Am I being petty for expecting a bonus?  Maybe.  Am I being unreasonable for expecting to be treated according to the value I brought to the job?  Definitely not.  I was told on numerous occasions how happy they were that I was there but it kinda feels like that was really just lip service.  As Evidenced by the 'bonus'.

I left that job 6 months ago but this is still a bit raw for me.  I decided I better at least use the certificate since I have it and it won't cost me anything.  At the very least, it will free up a fridge magnet.